Foucault and Ideas

"If you say something often enough, it becomes the reality."
No, Foucault didn't say this, though Foucault really meant this.

I was admitted to USP as a Science student. Had I not been talking to people, I wouldn't have known of this programme's existence from that part of the world that I came from. In class, I was presented "Power/Knowledge" as my first reading. I learnt about the Panopticon and Foucault's "Power of the Gaze". I read that paper more than ten times, and felt demoralised that I still couldn't really understand everything.

Now that I'm in my Fourth Year, I was presented, yet again, Foucault. Such a brilliant man, I assumed. I heard much about him. Into Foucault's work I jumped, "The History of Madness".

Can "Madness" have a history? Isn't it a condition, a mental/psychological condition? Isn't it a sickness of sorts? How can a person write a History of Madness (or Happiness, or Loneliness)? 

His way of writing history is, to say the least, weird. Brilliantly weird. As a deconstructionist, he attempts to move away from "chronology". There isn't any teleology, no past, no future, lots of present looking into the past, and bits and pieces of the past that are haphazardly stitched together. But nonetheless, brilliant.

Madness, to my understanding of him (because no one can truly understand him, I think), is a form of the powerful subjugating those who are too liberal, those who do not follow norms. What do we call madness? Why is madness a medical condition? Why confine mad men and alienate them so much, to the extent one keeps thinking "the mad man may hurt me!"? Why confine them like a prisoner? If they can't restrain themselves like how criminals can't, do we lump the two together? They seem to be punished in the same manner (at least in the beginning of that history).

He mentioned, that physical sickness suddenly became a private affair and madness a public affair. It is true. Leprosy was a disease that was "deserving" of confinement for as long as Christiandom was hegemonic.

He writes in power/knowledge that power creates knowledge, which is a notch above "knowledge is power".

I then went back to the Discipline/Punish ( where the Benthamite Panopticon was situated). Discipline doesn't make one conform, he says. Discipline separates, distinguishes, and sieves out. Punish those who are different from others.

A global identity: paradoxical?

A year back, I led a city tour and asked an international student - "where are you from? *smiles*" She frowns back, "I hate it when people ask this question. I don't know; it's a long story." "Tell me?" SHe then went on about how both her parents are Indians (one from North, one from South) and worked in Bahrain. They met in Bahrain. Her mother became pregnant with her, and rushed back to India to ensure her daughter would get an Indian passport. When the child was a week old, they flew to Sri Lanka and stayed there till she was 9. They then migrated to Bahrain and stayed there till she was 17. She then flew to London for her further education, before coming on an exchange to Singapore.
I probed further, "But surely there was a place you felt closest to?"
She replied, "Yes, Bahrain. But I went to an international school in Bahrain, so I wasn't acquainted with Bahrain per se. But I identify with that place the most. It was where I grew up in."

There's nothing wrong with that. Or is there? Why was the term "third culture kid" invented?
I write today with the aim to tell third culture kids that there is really nothing wrong, and perhaps they were made to believe that there is something wrong with them because the world doesn't see a horizon as broad as theirs, and could never half comprehend their world.

Wiki "Blind men and the elephant." That is a story originating from India about how different people only see part of a picture. Perhaps like kids born in the same land as their parents, they cannot comprehend an elephant, and bring with them a small skewed picture of their perception of what a third-culture kid may feel like. And hence "Snobbish? Slack? Spoilt?" are words that "local kids" use to perceive TCK.

Singapore is a young nation and many of its citizens still hold skewed stereotypes of its fellow counterparts, in terms of races, religion, gender, age, dialect group, ... This may have been a Confucian tradition of hierarchy, core-periphery, and stereotypes. I sometimes struggle with trying not to stereotype and giving the benefit of doubt too. My parents' perception of other races and religions are unfortunately not as cordial and all-embracing, and I lived with them for the past two decades. It would have rubbed off somehow. This is not uncommon in Singapore too.

Sorry... We didn't know International Baccalaurate was difficult, even more difficult than A Levels in many respect. We only knew that we are constantly compared to "Raffles" and "Hwa Chong" and striving towards the Ox-bridge or Ivy League schools - and then be ashamed if we cannot speak Standard English, or study much harder, or speak up in class only to find that we speak nonsense. For those who are luckier, they may migrate there, get a passport there, marry a Caucasian/non-Singaporean Asian and settle down overseas. That was what many parents of JC kids aspired towards. All JC kids know is that "ethanol + ethanoic acid = ethyl ethanoate" and "glocalization (quote localization of McDonalds) is a phenomenon to suggest that globalization is not all culture-antagonizing". Many of us didn't really truly understand what we were memorizing. A science student like myself and many of my peers wouldn't know what's the link between USSR and Russia, nor Cold War in general. We used the term Cold War when our good friends don't talk to us after some dispute. God knows how it was related to USA, let alone democracy and communism. (I didn't have the luxury of taking History in Secondary School and read only Geography, so I probably knew land forms and tectonics better than my History counterparts).

Third culture kids, we have lots to learn from you, but we do have a lot on our mind as well. We don't know if you would leave us jobless like what our parents often complain about ("expats!"). We don't know if you understand day-to-day struggles like squeezing up an SBS bus or MRT. We don't know if you actually have tasted chicken rice, actually, or if you live on spaghetti and ratatouille on a daily basis (I learnt the latter dish only from the rat movie; how "educated" I am!). We sometimes don't understand what's with democracy (ok I identify with this quite a lot) and why should we fight for freedom and individual rights. We don't really know what our political system is about - but we know enough not to question it if we don't know anything. We know stuff. We know how molecules interact, how we can calculate the conservation of mass and energy, and recite the proton number of elements in periodic tables. We know how to "differentiate" and "integrate" functions, how to draw a logarithm graph and what are the causes, advantages and disadvantages of globalization and technology (we learnt that in General Paper). We don't really know where Bahrain or Sicily is (at least for myself and my peers when we were in JC).

We know "ang mohs" and kids of expats go to international school. They are expats and must therefore be rich. They are rich and therefore must be snobbish (because our parents told us how snobbish their bosses are!). They are "ang mohs" and therefore have school politics that are similar to Gossip Girls, Friends, and other American dramas and we think they eat McDonalds and potato everyday. Not that we don't. But we don't really know. Really.

There's nothing wrong with a global identity, I think. My friends feel more Korean than Singaporean after watching tons of Korean dramas. And most of us Uni students prefer Starbucks (if we can afford it). Some of my friends took French. I went to India. I think NUS has a mix of just everything, and you are a global citizen par excellence, something Singapore is striving towards.

The GEP Programme in Singapore

I chanced upon this documentary and decided to watch it. It's quite an eye-opener. Refreshing, yes, to know about the GEP programme.

I never knew what the GEP programme was about until I finished watching this video. I'm surprised that GEP-pers are given some sort of special treatment, and view themselves in a different light, whether good or bad.

It made me ponder about the people that I meet in NUS. I've met some incredibly brilliant and different people. Different in that they seem to know where they're going. Different in that they dare to act in whatever way they want, and do not conform as much regarding ideas that they have.

I've led a YEP project with an ex-R.I. GEP student. He's not loud, but it requires him little effort to do well in NUS. He's slightly socially awkward, but a brilliant planner. He leads as a mastermind, and I lead as his mouthpiece. He has a heart for the NGO (what a waste, I thought, but it's amusing that he doesn't want the riches of the world).

I've another friend, an ex-GEP student. He dropped out of GEP because he was frustrated with the system. He didn't study hard enough for the GEP exam. He went on to Polytechnic, did extremely well, came to NUS to do the only thing he was passionate about in his life - Computing. The lecturer, according to him, was not smart enough to impart him more than what textbooks could offer, and even faulted him when he kindly reminded his lecturer that there was an honest mistake made. He changed course to Economics, made sure he did well enough ONLY to pass the exam (told his lecturer that he won't be submitting 2 out of 3 of his assignments), and graduated with merit.

There is another person whom I know who is a bird-watcher. He's interested in everything - History, Literature, Nature... He found life too boring and took a Year 4 course in Year 1. Obviously he didn't do well because NUS marks papers against standard answers. It was interesting to note that he could distinguish the species of birds just by its call, and he's too absorbed to everything and anything, he didn't have time for his studies (and neither did he care, really).


There are people whom I know who are extremely brilliant who didn't appear so brilliant at age 9, and hence didn't make it to GEP. Perhaps these are people who secretly admire non-conformity, people who constantly have ideas but were told to hush... *ponders*

rants: campus accommodation

I'm feeling really frustrated with the NUS accommodation, and whom can I blame? I was offered accommodation previously at UTown, Single Corridor Room. I've gotten the last of the last choices - UTown, suite. Over here, 5 girls who starts off as strangers will live together. I wonder what future holds.

I like my own space, a space away from needing to talk to people. I'm afraid that I would have to face people whom I'm not used to. I'm scared of the uncertainty ahead.

I'm also paying slightly more for (hopefully cleaner) en-suite toilets.

I've stayed in a suite before and besides the very beautiful models constructed by the two architects-to-be and the 2 cleaning aunties whom became my good friends, staying in a suite is really not my thing : /

The long process of trying and trying is really tiring. I hope that this is the last call. So here's my long story.

Applied to stay in C. College, Single Corridor; application accepted
Withdrew application due to some very emotionally-distressing experiences
Told to wait 1.5 months before I can apply for other residences
Waited
The day finally came. I could not apply because the system did not allow me to stay anywhere else other than C. College. Wrote in. Solved, after a few days.
Finally applied
Waited some more
Results came: unsuccessful; long waiting list
Emailed Prof X, asked if there is another place I could stay
Prof X replied, saying I could choose A. College or RVR
Thought a long time. Didn't like the expensive and mundane meal plan in UTown. Decided to choose A. College over RVR.
Prof X asked Master of A. College if I could stay. Master said I have to write in personally.
After labouriously thinking of what I can offer, I stayed up half a night to write the first initiative of my life - a pilot project, to help needy students in NUS, by ... (I can't tell you yet!). Continued revamping my resume, squeezed every single drop of my brain juice to write a cover letter (that I'm extremely proud of, even till today), a cover letter that communicates me (not my competency, but me, as a person, as a student, as an aspiring teacher).
Finally sent the application (after drafting the email many times)
Got a response days later; I've been accepted!!!

THEN...
Admin wrote to me saying that the system is opened for me to sign up
I signed in. Nope, doesn't work. I'm listed as "Unsuccessful" in application for residences.
Wrote back to tell them to put me in A. College. Admin wrote back saying I need to apply through A.College (but hey, I've already been accepted!)
Wrote to admin of my problem.
They wrote back, asking for my matric number. Finally! :)
I gave my matric number.
Waited.
They told me I can apply now.
I logged in. "C. College - Application Rejected"
No, that's not what I applied for.
Wrote back to get them to change.
Waited.
They wrote back saying they've changed.
I logged in. Nope, they haven't.
I wrote back saying they haven't updated it.
They told me to try again.
Ah. Finally. I see it! :)
Applied. Paid application fee.
Waited.
Accepted!! :D "Please log in to accept."
Logged in. No "Accept Offer" button! : X
Desperate. Log in again from another computer. Can't work. Wrote to admin.
Waited.
Admin wrote back, asking me to check again.
It's done!!! :D I can accept offer now!
BUT
Oh my...
I'm staying in a suite! (I want a corridor room.)

- Heaves a long sigh... -

The moral of the story: The system is never at fault. It's all our fault. Ok, my fault... *chuckles!* 

JSTOR!

Some thoughts on Singapore

Having read some newspaper dated Feb 2012 when the General Election hype was roaring, I wondered why Singapore continues to feel hopeless.

As a student, I worry about the ever-increasing tuition fees. I've two brothers - age 12, and 20. Will my brothers be deprived of university education because the family hasn't enough money to support them? They are deserving high B low A students - certainly insufficient to get a scholarship, yet they are still full of potential, and are constantly improving daily. The family already struggles to pay bills from day to day, and we have barely enough, not to mention, savings. I'm in University now, and my father paid for it with his CPF.  The government only allows a certain percentage of the CPF be used. When my brother finally gets into University, there wouldn't be enough.

As a daughter, I worry for my parents' retirement and rising healthcare costs. My mother has cataract, and visited the National University Hospital in early March 2012, when she was already almost blind in one eye. She dared not see the doctor at first for fear of the expensive healthcare costs. When she went to the polyclinic, the doctor told her she had just astigmatism, and so she waited, and sought no further treatment. She lost more and more of her sight, and banged into walls while working as a cleaner, at a PAP kindergarten. The staff showed no sympathy, and questioned her reduced speed of working, sometimes even threatening her. She went back to the polyclinic, and the clinic finally referred her to the hospital. The hospital scheduled her appointment in end of May, and made her wait for almost three months. She suffered more frequent injuries while working, and because she is a part-timer, she has no leave she could take. My question was:
1. Why did the hospital make her wait so long? If they have their constraints, their lack of doctors, why wasn't the intake of Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine increased 10 years ago, when the problem of ageing population first surfaced?
2. Because my family is bigger than others, my father has only a PSLE certificate and my mother doesn't even have that, can my mother afford not to work, since she's ailing and having aches in her knee and back?
3. If she does stop working, will my grades at NUS and my brother's grades at Ngee Ann Poly suffer if we have to take on more employment just to support the family? Why make meritocracy such a vicious cycle packaged in a glitzy wrapper?


Moving on from my family matters, I worry about the education of the future generation. As a future educator, my heart sank when I read the newspaper that "students are tested on much more than what the school teaches." Private tuition is essential. However, my question is - can the poor afford tuition? The school has forgotten that Financial Aid is insufficient to cover just the books, uniform and school fees. Can more be done to bridge the widening gap by ensuring that deserving students from less privileged backgrounds can receive quality education? It saddens me that schools only remember and invest in their cream of the crop (yes, I was part of the cream all my life) and forget that most of the students in the top classes can afford tuition outside, while most students in the bottom classes cannot.

==> Can teachers be better trained to help such students, or schools implement schemes where students can look up teachers at a specific time slot at a specific place on any day to ask questions on any subjects?

The government has invited people of all nationalities (many Indians and Chinese) to partake of our great nation-building project, but hasn't provided the infrastructure to support the huge influx in population. Take the public transport for instance. The buses/MRT are consumed by the blue collar, and a large percentage of the white collars. Buses are so packed when they leave the interchange they do not stop at any bus stops until they reach the industrial parks where everyone get off the buses. More buses please! The transport companies reply that they are doing what they can. Could the government intervene, either through forums with the transport companies, or by engaging top economists to see if the transport companies could in fact do more, or enforce sanctions to protect the basic needs of citizens? Note: I haven't a big issue with foreigners, and foreigners or Singaporeans, we need to get to work on time in order not to get fired. We could leave the house 15mins early, but the situation isn't any better. We could leave the house 1 hour early, but what do we do when we get to work so early?
==> Could we encourage the staggering of working hours? While the Budget 2012 focuses on building the Downtown Line, can we pause for a moment and improve what we have instead of building more?


As a citizen of Singapore, I understand the twin problems we have - an aging population, and a shrinking workforce. The former requires fiscal investment which the latter is unable to provide. To bridge the gap we have the foreigners joining us in both blue-collar and white-collar sectors. I also understand, and sympathize with the blue-collar workers - while we think that they have a good life in Singapore and would be a rich man when they go back, most of them got conned/lured to this place and realise only when they reach that whatever they thought was far from reality. While we think the Banglas are disgusting and dangerous, most that I've met were very polite and respectful of ladies. Not far from my home is a Bangla/Indian quarter, where hundreds to thousands of them are housed. They rather stand on the bus than sit next to me. And while I do get stares of curiosity, I don't remember being leered at. Many of them are also very, very educated, and speak fluent English.
==> Could we make them love Singapore, instead of fear Singapore, and increase their productivity by making them love the job they have and giving them a decent standard of living? Do we really need to make them remember that Singaporean employers hurl nothing but threats of repatriating them, of docking their salary?

Supposedly, the aging population problem can be alleviated by an increased birth rate. I don't fancy the Baby Bonus idea, and instead prefer the grant of privileges for bigger families. The rising standard of living has made life more expensive to maintain, but above all, it's evident that the largest expenditures come when one's children enter the tertiary education. Most of the developed world also believe that having one -elite- child is better than having 3 not-so-elite ones. Yet, having one is better than having none,which is what many Singaporeans are steering towards. I think the government could get the public, the policy makers and the academics to air their views on how this problem can be best solved.

is there hope for... me, humanity, the world?

many think that these two animals are bought by my boyfriend for me. contrariwise, they aren't. My little brother, being a reserved child, is deeply acquainted with the little Pooh bear in the picture. Big sister me spotted Big Pooh, and together with my boyfriend, we brought the Big Pooh back home to my little brother. He was flabbergasted. "Ahhhh!!!!" He couldn't stop grinning. It has since become his new best friend. The Big Pooh's his girlfriend, and the little Pooh his little boy. He's only 12.

Lab report. Screwed because my extremely brilliant partner spilled the DNA over to the other lane. He airbrushed it away on photoshop. We scored an A for the report. All I did was to check the grammar. *grins* [An 'A' grade in NUS is extremely hard to get by the way.] I got to keep this photograph, the DNA fingerprint in which I argued on and on, "I'm dead sure there's ethidium bromide in it!" There isn't. There's only agar, and it isn't edible.

A slice of rainbow cake, compliments of my hostel neighbour. Being the extremely shy/asocial new addition to the block, I was not invited to any celebrations of birthdays. Not that I really care, actually. I was studying hard for my exams. Then came a knock at the door, and a slice of cake. It did cheer me up from my lulls of work, and for a split second, the world didn't look as dystopic as education has made it out to be.

I love this photograph. It's badly taken, i know. I took it during a visit to a nursing home with my boyfriend. I saw that possibly 80 year old man feeding his wife food. They didn't speak much, but the love in his eyes surpassed any words that the universe could describe. There she was, in the nursing home. Rain or shine, he would be there to visit. Almost brought tears to my eyes.

Gender stereotypes, seen in these little ten-year-olds. "Boys eat more what!' They were buzzing away. Truth is, I thought so, when I was 10, but now that I'm so much older, I realised boys only eat much more after puberty, not at such a tender age. Their fascination with almost everything strikes me. Little Einstein, a boy in the crowd of 39, answered every single question like reading a Britannica with a twinkling in his eyes. Plump girl got scolded by teacher, and started crying and withdrawing from the crowd. "The girl in yellow", the teacher said, "watch out for her." I thought she was a monster. She wasn't. She was a little autistic, and could not relate well to her peers. It's most unfortunate that children are "marked for destiny" at such a tender age. And equally unfortunate is that they would grow to be who the society expects of them. At least, according to Psych, a lousy capability paired with high hopes makes a child a "high ability kid" as opposed to a normal capability paired with low hopes.

This is the most epic photo of my life's collection. Snapped in Singapore, this photograph is a lift that's shut down. The paper writes, "The management didn't treat us like humans... [the rest I couldn't read cus it's too cursive]... B**tard!" It might not be a big deal, but because it's Singapore and I literally walked up the stairs with other residents of the block, I was quite startled that such a protest was launched. In Singapore, workers always do as told. In Singapore, there hasn't been a strike for more than half a century. In Singapore, the government believes in efficiency and protection of labour welfare. Is there a slice of population that we have forgotten, or the workers are being overly demanding? But anyway, I smiled to myself that something extraordinary has happened right before my eyes.

Is there hope? Of course! Agency vs structure. The world's a bizarre, yet dazzling place.

Things to do in India (I)

I still think of that fascinating place as if it was yesterday.

1. Visit the Taj Mahal and Varanasi
The first one is pretty obvious - you don't really expect to see something so white and well-kept in India, unless you're in Chandigarh. Taj Mahal reminds us all of the splendour of India. During the Mughal Empire, Emperor Shah Jahan (Son of Jahangir, Grandson of Akbar) built it. They got the marble from Rajesthan and the jewels from the West Coast (Gujarat, I think). A pity most of the time it's packed with people, and its entry ticket is not cheap like the other attraction sites. But it's worth a go, to show people you have been there.

Expect touting. That's part of India. You could quote a ridiculous price if you are slightly interested in something they are offering. My friend once reduced the price by 10 times (from Rs 400 to Rs 40). Of course, usually 50% of the price is a good way to start bargaining, but if you're outside the Taj, you could go way less. Have fun bargaining!

"ye wala kitne ka?" (this thing how much [price]?)
"five hundred only, madam. very cheap. very good."
"kya bakuas! pachaas rupee ka to bas. thi-ke?" (what nonsense! 50 rupees the most. ok?)
"nahi madam! this very good quality! four hundred." (let you touch the thing. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH, or he might try to be funny and make you pay, or snatch your money, etc)

" nahi, bhaiya. nahi chahiye. jao, jao." (no, brother [this is a term used by all hindi speakers]. don't want. go, go." (walk away, please.)
"madam! wait! haah, do sau. thi-ke?" (2 hundred, ok?)
"nahi chahiye, jao. meh sirf pachaas rupee. thi-ke?"
"haah, madam! ek sau. last price. good quality. pachaas nahi yar." (100, last price. 50 cannot)
[at this point, take it if you want. too troublesome to bargain till 50 unless if you're really really free. or just leave. he'll chase after you. just ignore. and be adamant about it.]

There is this famous golden triangle - Jaipur (palace), Agra (taj), and Delhi (capital). If you like, do it with a tour (but be prepared for lots of weird touting, and taxis driving you to shops and asking you to buy their stuff cuz he gets a commission). I've never been to Jaipur, but I heard Jalsaimer is beautiful. That's where the desert is. For an Indian palace, I highly recommend Madhya Pradesh (Orcha) if you've the time. If not, Jaipur will do. Varanasi too.

Varanasi (or Benares) is a holy city which embodies a substantial Hindu atmosphere. It's dirty. You see cows everywhere, shitting. You see people chewing betel nut and spitting those red stuff all over. And men peeing by the roadside (ok they're a bit discreet, but they really do stand there, face the wall, and pee alongside others!) It's smokey, because of the incense and the cremation at the ghat. What to see? Go to the ghat. You'll see lots of people cremating there. PLEASE RESPECT THEM and not take photos; they're mourning. At 7pm, go to Dashwashemedha Ghat, and join the puja session (prayer along the Ganges River.) They'll all shout "Ganga-ma aati, jai!" (Prayer to Mother Ganges!)

Head down to the famous Pizza place at Vaatika Cafe. Memorable food and ambiance. Head over to Dolphin Cafe if you're really rich. Avoid Lassi (the yummy yoghurt drink). They make it with Ganges River water. But make exceptions if you find that very famous stall, heh. (and you can, like me, suffer bouts of diarrhoea happily after that.)

Paakora by the roadside is yummy! And relatively harmless, since the parasites and bacteria have all been fried. Stand by the roadside and eat with those Indian kids, teenagers and old men. Quite an experience.

Visit the famous Monkey/Hanuman Temple - New Vishanath Temple, aka Birla Temple. Look at the holy Sadhus there. 40 years, haven't moved out of the temple once. And they don't really need to eat.

Speaking of Sadhus. Walk down Ganges and you'll see a lots of people bathing. And sadhus who are high on marijuana, along the river.

Make it a point to wake up at 4 in the morning to take a boat ride down Ganges. It's beautiful, and memorable. The city wakes up, you see the dhobi (washermen) washing clothes and linen by the river, buffaloes and cows bathing alongside the many men and women. People travel thousands of miles just to come to this river to bathe. However, do not attempt to bathe in it, unless you're prepared to fall sick. It's one of the most polluted rivers in the world. It's a wonder it's still oxygenated, and has fishes in it. Someone told me it's Ganga-ma, of course. The river is a goddess/deity.

Sarnath is where the Tibetans are. Really, Varanasi has the best of Hinduism and Buddhism. Check out the Stupa - that's where a part of Buddha's remains is buried. The calmness of the place is unmistakable. Suddenly, you don't hear car horns, nor people shouting. Lots of devout Southeast Asian/Chinese Buddhists are there doing pilgrimage. Quite a site. There is also a famous temple where they feature the life of Buddha. It's a Mahayana Buddhist Temple.

Be careful of people in Varanasi. They are all out to cheat your money. If you understand that, and play along, then you're quite alright :)

2. Take the Indian train!
There's airconditioned and non-airconditioned. I've NEVER taken the AC version (because they cost so much more). It costs about SG$10/US$8 to take a train from Delhi to Varanasi on Non-AC Sleeper class. You've to be extremely vigilant about your passport, luggage, and try to make friends with ladies if you're a girl. If you're a guy, you're quite fine alone. Just be very alert.

I recommend the Sleeper class because it's 5 times cheaper. I get to see the poor people - the real "normal people from all walks of life" - on the Sleeper class. Many times I meet students, so I strike a chat with them (I calculated that the risk of getting into serious trouble is lowered when I make acquintances on the train.) There are people with "unconfirmed ticket" - they bought the ticket, but there isn't enough seat, so they have to stand the whole way. There is always this "chai (tea)" man, who goes: "chai, chai, chai, chai, chaaaiii..." even in the middle of the night, if you're unlucky, but if you laugh it off, it's quite funny actually. I often buy the "kaafiii, kafi. kaaafiiii, kafi (coffee)" It taste pretty bad (water, milk, sugar, where's the coffee?!?). But the fun lies in watching him pour the coffee. Ok, not fascinating. He stops by, does his trick, and gives you the coffee. 5 rupees. (SG$0.25) Occasionally, when it passes by other train stations, you can buy samosa/samoseh (not recommended for people who fall ill easily). There is also train food! The pantry man comes by your seat, takes order (vegetarian or chicken?) then he'll send you the food like 4 hours later or something. 35 rupees. (SG$1). Win! Occasionally you get to buy Lays potato chips. Oh the Masala flavour one is so yummy (SG$0.60)! And all is well. Scenery is beautiful outside the train. You get to open the window and have the wind blowing on your face. If the ticket inspector isn't looking, you may hang around the entrance of the train, and it feels like you're flying.

No climbing onto the roof of the train. We see that in Mumbai, on TV. Don't do that. But you may look at people doing that if there are any. I have never seen any.

NEVER DRINK ANY UNAUTHORIZED WATER. Fruit juice no ice. No pani puri (the chaat/snack with water in it, yumms!). No weird lassi by the street. No Rs.1 water by the roadside (not even if they squeeze you the lemon). Make exceptions at your own risk. I did, and had a hell lot of fun. Bottled water. CHECK THE SEAL. I kid you not. Sometimes they try to be funny and refill those empty bottles.

3. Visit the bazaars/central markets
Forget what those Indians told you - those splendid malls, whatever. Come to Singapore if you want malls. I kid you not, we've a stretch of award-winning road just for malls, and they are world-class. Head down to the bazaar and central markets. They are really fascinating to check out. From saris/salwars to pails to momos (dumplings by the roadside!), everything looks so chaotic, yet organized. You can have your shirt tailored. The tailor sits under the sun in the middle of the parade square with a pile of clothes next to him. He takes your measurement (I don't think he'll molest you), and asks you to collect a few days later. Be with someone, and be careful of your money lest you get pickpocketed (Neither I nor my friends never got that, so it's not that dangerous.) Get lost in there, then grab some KFC, momos, or what-have-you (Bhel Puri? :P a chaat/snack item that has onions, puffed rice and sauces in it.) Then catch the auto or rickshaw to wherever you want.

Delhi: Sarojini market and Chandni Chowk are real good everything-market. I personally love the Lajpat Nagar Central Market, and the Saturday Market around Lady Shri Ram College. Go to Khan market if you want some expatriate-standards. Or head to Dilli haat if you're cheating.

I've listed 3 things to do, but I've actually listed lots more, like bargaining, doing the really weird stuff.
To girls: refrain from going around after the sun sets. For every hour, your risk doubles - rape, rob or ransom. Unless you know the place well, of course.

It's the exam period.

In conjunction with the exam period, I have, to my great surprise, many seniors encouraging me.

The first is my boss (Yihan Tan), in response to my great dilemma "A Hopeless Battle? but..."

http://www.narutoget.com/watch/389-naruto-episode-25-english-subbed.html

Insights from this episode:
Exams aren't about learning the stuff, but learning the skills to solve those problems. (Yes I know I'm very chill about exams, to have watched Naruto.)

It almost never occurred to me that NUS really is the training ground to fight battles. Some get it tough. Most acquire battle tenacity - without realising they are battle-seasoned, to burn midnight oil, not sleep for 3 days 3 nights just to churn out reports. Some acquire the skill of being an Intelligence Agent - how to get information. Some find out what is important in life through all these pressure tests, and decide to focus. Many (in fact, most) learn to cope with failures, heartbreaks, disappointment, criticisms etc. It is noted of course that while many hope to get a "C" at least, some deem B+ as a "fail", and some would void an A-. To each his own.

The second comes from my roommate in India (Haza), to tell me how much of an irritating mugger I am, whether or not I believe I get those A's.

http://insomniac.fassclub.org/tiding-through-exams-knowing-the-buggers-from-your-muggers/

Here, there are 4 types of people we "hate" - the Elites who finished revising 2 months before the exam, the Insecure who thinks he/she hasn't been able to "finish 5 chapters" when others go "There is a textbook? (silly troll smile)" The worry-er are the smart but worry too much to perform. The last kind is "I don't give a hoot about this project, nor readings, nor exams, nor lessons." (groupmates from hell)

Fascinating. I've been tag as one of them (unsure which one though).

forgone conclusion?! but...

what do you do when faced with a forgone conclusion?
This is inspired by an academic interest, as well as a personal interest.

I'm reading Military History: The Battle of Hong Kong. It is generally understood that Hong Kong, being such a small island with little resources (military or other supplies like water) can never defeat the Japanese in face of an invasion. It occurred, in 8 Dec 1941. General Christopher Maltby however was confident that he could hold Hong Kong, for a few months at least. But he did not; it was lost, with extremely heavy casualties, in about 17 days. Why fight, and to what end was the garrison supposed to fight? Till the last man? Why send 2 untrained Canadian battalions who thought that they were not going to fight to Hong Kong, and why was it not communicated to them that Hong Kong was an outpost, and had little chance, if any, of survival? Some scholars have argued: "There's no difference if one were to send them into a meat grinder."

Alas, Maltby, and Brooke-Popham, (Air Marshal? C-in-C of Far East Asian Command?) believed that the enemy was weak.
Murfett's law: "Never underestimate your opponents."

Knowing your enemy is deadly, how do you make preparations to fight it?

Knowing that I might fare reasonably badly for this module, how do I try to save myself? Or do I suffer from inferiority complex? Am I panicky and reactionary, such that I can't think of the "best solution"?

==fight or die==
That was what the Japanese were faced with. Either you die gloriously, or you die pathetically. Either way, you die. But with a little bit of luck, you might survive.

To what extent is a "back door" a hindrance? Do people divorce because that is their back door? If there wasn't any divorce possible, could people love more, or try harder?

Surprisingly, what I learnt from this module is how willpower can triumph over dire circumstances. Amazing leadership, according to my Prof, does wonders. It can resurrect the dead even (no, it can't, i'm kidding), turn the tides, and make all things possible.

Could it be well-calibrated, cautious confidence, that leads one to victory? well-calibrated here means knowing your own strengths and weaknesses, and knowing the demands of your task ahead. Cautious is self-explanatory; always be prepared, for the worst scenarios. And whatever the case, have faith in victory - otherwise, "the battle is half lost."

And it all seems so paradoxical. How can one be cautious yet confident? How can one be confident in being well-calibrated enough? Having done all, resign to fate? >.<

Murfett's law: Luck. Machiavelli's favourite word: Fortuna. She only sticks to the bold, those who afford to take a calculated risk.
(And of course, what is a calculated risk? Does it factor in how dire the situation is?)

Actually, there's something I haven't spoken about.

First, I noticed that humans admire those who recognise and are not afraid to admit they have weaknesses.

Second, sometimes the conclusion isn't so much in winning or losing. George Osborne, a soldier, threw himself on a grenade and saved 6 lives. He lost his life. But he won in many ways. He won my respect, the respect of the soldiers around him, and he won a Victorian Cross, the highest ranking medal.

Thirdly, while victories are often clear-cut, defeats aren't. Because there are many levels to being defeated.

Hmm...

Infaaatuation!

Does anyone understand the feeling of picking up your phone, typing a text message to the guy you like, and then deleting it, and going back to work, only to find yourself doing that again in the next 10 mins?

Or the feeling of searching through the entire Google database for his name secretly, keeping track with every update of his on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace...

Or just... wasting the day away thinking about him, about how nice it would be if you were with him, forever... when you barely know him?

She who says "I'm not that irrational" is probably lying. Well, even if she has alternative sexual preferences, she still thinks of such things.

But he doesn't. The guy, more often than not, doesn't spend the entire day thinking of the girl he fancies. He usually thinks of her during the times he needs some company, understanding, etc - when he's feeling lonely, bored, or upset.

Introverts prefer to wait and see if things happen, and when it doesn't they blame themselves for not trying. Extroverts try to make things happen, and when they fail, they blame themselves for stupidity.

So ends my first posting on Infatuation. It happens everywhere, even in the most conservative male-female segregated Middle Eastern culture, the arranged-marriage Indian culture, and of course, the neither-here-nor-there Singapore culture. - dedicated to BrinkyT

Insight from Christian Louboutin

In case you're as backward as I am in fashion, Christian Louboutin is a 47-year-old man. But his name is synonymous with shoes. And what's so special about his shoes?
1. It's synonymous with platform heels
2. This pair over here costs (only) USD999. There are more expensive ones, of course.
*3. Red soles

Whoever thought of red soles must have been... It's the last thing people think of. People don't even think soles should be seen, let alone remembered. Louboutin has branded himself for RED SOLES.

My first brush with Louboutin shoes happened when I was viewing "Marry the Night" MV by Lady Gaga. It really did not occur to me that these red soles are so famous.
Victoria Beckham ordered an 8-inch heel for her Royal Wedding.
When I was in Abu Dhabi, every other girl was wearing a 6-inch Louboutin. Under the black abaya (robe). And they have enough not to repeat the same pair for 2 weeks at least.

Hmm.

Some sort of conditioning - strange, it sounds - that makes one fall in love with these red soles. My point for the day is: something as inconspicuous yet conspicuous can make money. My class on conspicuous consumption (in Evolution) has not really addressed this.

These shoes are not vastly different from those in the market (unless you compare intricacies like detail, cut, etc). And red soles. Yet they have outcompeted every shoe company in 20 years to become one of the most prominent shoe brands.

Lessons from shoemakers:
1. Louboutin first painted those soles with red nail polish. Great ideas don't cost a bomb.
2. 9-year-old Ferragamo stayed up all night to make a pair of shoes for his sister, because his mother had no money to buy any. Hard work and dedication is always the way to go.

love (and politics)

Such were the two things that inspired this post today.

After tuition, I headed home and it felt really good to be back. Everyone was around; laughed at my little brother's increasingly oily face (he's starting puberty, and by talking about it I help him transit), at my father's listening to radio and youtube stuff (he seemed to pay such attention to every word I said to him, it's really nice) and my mother (who told me about her work and asked if I wanted food).

And I thought about Clarence, and how blessed I am, to have found a man who makes life a heaven on earth, in every sense. He understands me, cares for me, surprises me, listens to me... He asked if I wanted to go catch a movie with him. I haven't done that, mainly because my lack of interest does not justify my ticket purchase. And I was so surprised, that he asked, even when exams are looming. So adventurous, though he seemed so mundane at first sight.

I thought about being a teacher, and that vaguely reminded me of the previous guy I dated. "Just another HDB light," he sniggers. Being a teacher is all too normal, it's becoming the 80%, the mediocre. But Clarence shares such a powerful insight.

Would you rather be born into an upper-middle class family, do well in school, find the love of your life, get married, have kids, get promotion in work, get rich, grow old, and die at 70, have lots of people remembering you... or would you rather be...

a slum kid, who often got beaten, had only an illiterate mother, who fights his way up the rungs of his realm, gain respect, get into drugs and quit, grow up, start a small business and fund his own university education, fails in business, then having tried many times, succeeded, gain prominence and got into politics, got married to the girl he'd been chasing for 10 years, child dies, and finally become the president of the State, then have an illness which renders him crippled, but nonetheless he continued and impacted the world greatly?

Some would choose the latter, but most would choose the former. There's a difference between happiness, and fulfilment. A difference between having a good/happy life, and a meaningful one. I had felt ashamed to become a teacher despite really passionately liking the experience, because it makes me "just another HDB light". That was also another thing my previous church taught - being a light on the hill. It's a tall order and not everyone attains it. Having found Clarence, I really don't care what others are doing. I'd rather be a happy person, HDB or not, than have a meaningful life without the immense happiness. I just met a friend who kept joking that he'd be the next prime minister. He, however, has a love-life problem. My question to him was: What's the point of life if you, having become the Prime Minister, has a dysfunctional home?

Brings me to my next point. Home. And freedom. I posted a question to Clarence, asking what would he recommend a person who desires freedom but also wants to settle down.

Birds are symbols of freedom. I wonder who first came up with that. If there were no branches, no place for the birds to rest their weary wings, they may even regret having wings to fly with in the first place. Perhaps true freedom simply means having a place you can return to...

I didn't agree at first, thinking that it didn't address the question of freedom. But it's legit. And maybe he's right. Love, and freedom, need no logical-mathematical reasoning.

evolution: good and bad, at the same time

Through my life in NUS, it is admittedly the first time I see two vehement camps in Evolutionary Biology.

Evolutionary Psychologists seek to answer this question to every phenomenon:
-How is this maladaptation a consequence of the long evolutionary history of mankind?

Human Behavioral Ecologists seek to answer another kind of question:
- How is this trait beneficial in its own way to have survived in the gene pool?

I was talking to a Psychology student, trying to explain to her why the wearing of high heels increases fitness. To that, she frowned and responded: "Just because depression is on the rise, do you say that depression has massive advantages and is therefore not eradicated from the population?"

I frowned. I was stumped.

"Well," she continued, "The reason why depression is on the rise is because of change in environmental circumstances. Stress, which had not been present in the past, has overwhelmed and activated the once-silent genes of depression present in a certain percentage of the population."

Sounds convincing. So I went to my evolution class after that having this idea in mind - not everything should be argued as "fit". My classmates were presenting on Non-suicidal self-injury, or in layman terms, self-mutilation. I frowned. Such a morbid topic.

"These people who engage in NSSI are fit."

My jaw dropped. If depression isn't "fit", this is definitely a maladaptive trait!! It must have arisen because in the past there were less stress, more social activities (think tribal), less boredom, greater need to roam and hunt. I raised my hand but my professor missed it. He responded to one of the similar questions in the class, "This trait is fit relative to other depressed sufferers."

My god. He succeeded. He was still consistent with his argument on fitness, in that every single trait has its own fitness!!

How can this be? Two sides to a coin, and both sides never meet. Evolutionary psychologists treat everything as an "exception", hence they are studying such phenomena. Human behavioral ecologists treat everything as the "norm", and seek to explain why such phenomena exists, by normalizing them.

From a commenter:
Evolutionary psychology does seek to explain the phenomena in terms of its evolutionary adaptiveness. Hence, they also claim that maladaptive traits/disorders are actually adaptive in some sense. Thus, are really talking about the same thing, rather than 2 sides of the same coin.
And as for your Psychology friend, it just sounds like she doesn't buy the Evolutionary perspective, and she is right that it is unlikely to explain maladaptive traits. Still, the evolutionary prespective is very useful in explaining many phenomena, but it cannot explain everything too (although it tries..and seemingly fails). In that sense, that is when other frameworks/perspectives should be used, like the environmental demands, etc..

Be a clam; do the right thing :)

I heard this from Clarence last night, when he shared about his philosophy class.

"Would you rather be born into an upper-middle class family, do well in school, find the love of your life, get married, have kids, get promotion in work, get rich, grow old, and die at 70, or would you be a ...

A clam. A clam is immortal. He sits there every day. Maybe he occasionally get some good food, some clam sex [whatever that is!], but he's immortal. His happiness level will increase 0.1 every day, as compared to the human who has a "happy life!", but dies at 70.

If you are a hedonist, you should pick the clam! Because there comes a day when the clam lives long enough to exceed the happiness of the human!"

I was stunned. Would you be a clam?

The story continues.

"Unfortunately, many humans said no, hedonist or not."

The surprising part's coming.

"However, if you ask a clam whether he wants to be immortal and have his happiness increasing every day, or being a happy human and dying at 70, he obviously would choose to be a ~ ?"

- my thoughts: Human! why would he choose to be a clam?! Such a boring life.

"A clam, of course. Why would he want to die at 70? It's so nice sitting on the ocean floor and doing nothing. Imagine forgoing clam-sex for the rest of your life!"

- My thoughts: He probably can't understand the kind of happiness humans can have, and instead look at the "die at 70", frown, and rather be incrementally happy each day. -

Lessons:

1. We don't choose to be a clam because we don't understand what being a clam is like, and cannot relate to its happiness.


2. When you think about it, it really doesn't matter who you are, what situation you're in; you'll always prefer being yourself to being a clam.


3. There's something good about your life that you don't see, that no one understands. Find that, and you'll be happy as a clam! (How ironic!)


4. Don't compare. The other life might not be as good as the one you're having :)
   

If you would choose to be a clam, well done there too! Simplicity as a way of life. The argument has to be put into context: it was on decision-making for the hedonists. Those who choose to be a clam after reading this post might not have been a hedonist :P
Even more amazing:
Quek DF: I'd much rather be a rock. One of those metamorphosis rocks basking in the warmth of the nearby mantle. Gradually accumulating bliss for billions of years.
Ooo, from another commenter:
Those who willingly choose the clam are the true hedonists, because they seek to maximise their total pleasure in a clam life (or rock life). In that sense, I would probably probe them further as to whether they would choose the 70-year-old happy person, or be a infant who gets injected with heroin every second (and then dies within a few weeks). If they now choose the 70-year-old person, then they have some thinking to do about why they prefer the clam, but not the heroin baby.
It's intriguing that people would claim that they won't choose the human life. Hypothetically speaking, of course anyone can choose the clam, especially since it bears no outcome in this thought experiment. One would probably stand out from the crowd by claiming to choose the clam. All's hypothetical; if the person is really faced with this decision in front of the divine being, and he knows that his choice will 'seal his fate', how many will still opt for the clam?

The history and evolution of written communications

This post is dedicated to ranting, ranting about the need to sound professional almost all the time.

1. Letter in a bottle
We all want things to be in order, in a certain format/style, wherever, whenever. Does growing up really mean that one has to give up style in expressing oneself? This was during Newton's times.

2. The Telegraph
One may argue that the concept of a standard universe was destroyed along with Napoleon Bonaparte. It did, however, come back with Otto von Bismarck, as he gloriously led Prussia into victory in 1871. That to me dawned the glorification of machines. A British would argue otherwise, that the Industrial Revolution that happened in Britain made use of sophisticated machines since the start of the 19th century, and even spread technology of steam and rail to Europe and India.

3. The rise of the Speed-post
Speed-post (the snail mail in its fastest form) travel by air. In my primary and secondary school, which really wasn't so long ago, I had learnt how to write a formal and informal letter. That was how speed-post worked. You either write a formal letter, or an informal one.

4. The rise of pager
Message in the shortest form. You can page a person by dialling the receiver's pager number (which is like a mobile number). What the person does is to find a public phone to return your call. Occasionally, "happy birthday" or codes can be sent.

5. The rise of the email
Email started to get popular in the late 1980s. It was so new, nobody really used it. When someone did use it, it was for leisure purposes, for the novelty of it. It was the new cool, I remembered. I also remembered typing my friend's name in the "To:" field. Amazing. Even a three-year-old knows how to email now, I kid you not, without making the mistakes I made when I was 11.

6. MSN: The rise of instant chat
It was in the 1990s, when it became such a big thing. I was in primary school, and dating a boy in class, through MSN chats. All sorts of crap language we used. lol. nvm la, stil gt tmr 2 solv e prb.

7. Ding-dong! Sms!
In case you're wondering, that's a famous ringtone for SMS in Singapore. SMS got really popular in the late 1990s. They were used for informal purposes. Texting became a big thing only after Starhub started its 700-free-sms-per-month scheme for $10, in 2003. SMS language was very popular for a period of time.

8. Friendster - the prehistoric Facebook
That was a platform where one could add as many friends as one could find, to show off to the world how popular one was. The profile page could be decorated, and description could be made. It was in the beginning years of the millennium.

9. Blog!
Gone were the days when one had only one audience. A blog offers incredible viewership. Initially started as an online diary, it quickly deviated towards pro-blogging - making money, and sharing expertise online.

10. What's App/BBM
If you don't know what BBM and what's app are, you're quite outdated. BBM stands for Blackberry Messenger, which allows one to instantly write to a Blackberry user overseas for free (similar to email, but friendlier). What's app is an application for groups of people from anywhere in the world to "msn" and sms at the same time. One can share pictures, weblinks and whatnot, and one sends it to another person's phone number instead of email address. Currently, it's still very new, and considered cool to be part of.

Alas. I'm still cool. But I really dislike the fact that there are so many rules in writing that has evolved with non-verbal, written communications. I think creativity and personality are really important, and I'm not prepared to give them up in my letter formats and styles.

Giving in India

I'm writing on giving/gifting in India, on how, and why, it is done, amongst merchants, towards both religious and secular institutions. I'm going mad because there isn't enough sources for me to write on. Yet, there are more than what I require, for me to consolidate, gather, and make sense of. Big terms like Social capital by Pierre Bordieau, Sanskritization by M.N. Srinivas, Credit by C.A. Bayly, and vicarious ritualization by Milton Singer, got my brain overheating. And off I go in search to make sense of these vague terms. Other than my secret glee of knowing the names and works of these scholars (anthropologists, sociologists, ethnologists, historian), all these seem transient. So transient, the next semester I would be looking at a bunch of different names.

"I'm your biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me, papa-, paparazzi" - Lady Gaga

I somehow feel that I'm a paparazzi following the works of these scholars. I dream them, read them, memorize them, recite them, apply them. Gosh.

As if I would need any of these when I graduate. The unfortunate thing is that I take a long time to remember what they say, and eternity thereafter to forget what they say. The education system about force-feeding, vormitting, and carrying on, isn't really what I'm apt at.

Significance: It is understood that Indian merchants spend a lot of money on giving, through the ages, much more than their Western counterparts. It is also noted that generally, they give to religious causes, education/public works and infrastructure, and political causes.

Irony of explaining how they give: They have given to various causes through the ages. However, Rudner argues that the Chettiars stated giving to secular causes only because of the British, and calls it religious endowments (Palsetia also uses the term in Parsis), which connotes an extremely capitalistic slant. Similarly, Douglas Haynes argues that there is a shift from offering tribute to giving philanthropy, because of the British, arguing that it is clever politics at work. Milton Singer proposes that it has to do with Hinduism, that it is the effect of Sanskritization, as opposed to the Weberian thesis on Hinduism being incompatible with capitalism.

Is there a dichotomy between religious giving and secular giving, or is it an extension of giving in general? If so, is it linked to Hinduism?
Why they give:
1.Religious – Hinduism, want to get to heaven
2.Economic – advertising par excellence, networking, creditworthiness
3.Social – altruism might bring forth fruits that might be valuable
4.Reputation – part of the “vicarious ritualization”, increasing one’s social capital
5.Political – want their names to be kept forever, either in names of buildings, or knighthood, or political titles

*Note: motives can never be generic and they are very often guesswork. Avoid postulating the exact reasons they start out with. Rather, look at a list of reasons for giving.

Is there a pattern to the giving across India? Could the pattern be extended to Asia in general (NAKS)? Why or why not? Is this form of giving similar to the Western concept of philanthropy? Why or why not?

in view of february

[please be informed that this is my last posting till March; unless my blogger itch comes on rapidly]

1. Good health, for myself and my loved ones.
2. Happiness and peace for myself and my loved ones.
3. Happily ever after, with him.
4. To know that you care for me (whomever you are, something thoughtful, like a smile or an sms, would be very nice indeed)
5. Hoping that I'm never in dire lack of money (been lucky so far).
6. Good grades for exams.
7. I wish JX and I could be friends again. Sigh.
8. Catch-up with the girls of my life (secondary, jc, church)
9. That I've the courage to go back to [where my heart had been for the longest while]
10. That I could have more courage to face up to the world and to myself, and not having to avoid people, to do what I desire, without thinking so much

Is Singapore degenerating?

Some has written that Singapore is getting from first-world to third-world with the MRT power outage, flooding, ministerial scandals.

The government says this is normal in other countries. We face a huge percentage of migrant workers, because Singapore is unable to support itself. And the citizens are blamed for the falling birth rate.

On birth rate: The government was the one who introduced the stop-at-two campaign. It was overwhelmingly successful, because of many reasons. The three-or-more campaign started did not work because:
1. not enough effort is put into it - in publicity, incentives, etc
2. the primary incentive of having a child is gone - mothers have to work and take care of the child, worry about his/her grades, send him/her to tuition and a range of whatnot classes, from ballet to arithmetic
3. it's too stressful to live in Singapore, so why create a human to suffer with you?
4. (most important) It's too costly to support a child while having to support a house, (car), bills (utilities, phone/internet), parents (father and mother). It's actually more dystopic than this, because one cannot afford to be ill because healthcare is so expensive it wipes out all your savings. And if one is on long-term healthcare support, then... Who's even thinking about getting married, which costs?

It all boils down to money. And society.

If conditions favour having children, why not have them? It's precisely because the structural support isn't there. Very strangely, it's far more favourable to have children in India (esp boys), because all one has to think of is to send the child to a public school, and ensure that the child gets married, work, and support his parents. And not be a wife-beater. There aren't so many considerations - if the child fails in school, then too bad; he's not cut out for it, God has a way for him.

In Singapore, everywhere you go, it shouts, "If you've no certificate, you're dead." No, you aren't. You just have to find out what you're good at. But wait a minute, everyone else has a certificate, whether it's a good or lousy one. There comes the big problem. You're not ahead of others if you have a cert, you're behind everyone else if you don't (C.Seow, 9/2/2012).

Is Singapore degenerating?

What about the poor people in Singapore? Arguably, the poorest of poor isn't the foreign labourers. It's fellow Singaporeans, those who are at the bottom of the Gini coefficient. And it's quite apparent that these Singaporeans are either old, or do not have a good qualification, or for some reason are unable to give as much manual labour (arthritis, deformed backbone, or anything else). Such Singaporeans have to compete with the much cheaper foreign labour. There aren't any incentives to hire Singaporeans in this case, unless the person is willing to be paid as much as the foreign labour. The pay difference, if I'm not wrong, is around $21 (foreign) vs $50 (local) per day in a construction site. It's about the same in factories.

So what now? The progress which was much celebrated around the world has created a vicious cycle, and only the government can help, by either giving more incentives to employers for hiring locals (eg in tax-relief), or disincentives (not preferable, but quite a Singaporean method). This is important because this affects how we see our leaders of the country. This is exceptionally important because from 1965 to 2007, Singapore has been progressing linearly, save for the 1998 Asian financial crisis, and it's a consensus amongst the public that life is unhappier as compared to yester-years.

The government says we shouldn't compare ourselves with US president, or even other Asian ministers, regarding pay. Should we compare ourselves against ourselves, and strive to be the utopia of the world again, for a greater Singaporean population?

And every sound politician knows this: you can't afford to do worse; you can only do better. Better than other countries, or preserve status quo in the country's standing against the world. And even Machiavelli knows this: you keep the people happy, well-clothed and well-fed, and you as the leader won't be questioned.

That was why Lee Kuan Yew was such a great man. He gave the poor a real chance, and real help, to stay in HDB, have a toilet of their own, schooling opportunities for everyone, and made sure the entire island had affordable and comfortable transport, when there was nothing except debris and riots to begin with (post-WWII). Hell-yeah, there was no free press, no free-and-fair election, high ministerial pay. But few made noise.

We're losing our transparency, efficiency, accountability, and social security for the poor. We're slowly losing our friendliness as well. The world looks and feels treacherous, we can't get married, we don't want children, and we want to migrate to a less stressful place, after years spent on this island. Unless something can be done asap, politics is going downhill from now on.

lifestory: biologist turned historian turned biologist

Ok, i'm joking. How can one change path so many times?

I was a student of biology in my high school. It was the love of my life. I had abandoned it for History. And now I'm back, with something incredulous. Microfluidics. Gee, you might ask, what the heaven is that?

It's something i cannot yet describe. Very complex. I'm studying deterministic lateral displacement, cytoskeletal structures, cell/nucleus deformity, all of which falls under mechanobiology. It doesn't help that i hate physics.

What I read about in 4 days and still couldn't understand (all of that crazy stuff above), I undestood in 2 minutes of youtube. Quite cool, eh?

Maybe that's the reason why Watson and Crick was SO SUCCESSFUL. They used the kid's way of learning - toys, some call it - models. Perhaps, as a historian, I could imagine the impact of the entire audience when they saw the DNA structure. Sounds dumb, clamps and wooden sticks. But hey, for the first time, scientists in the molecular field SAW the structure.

woohoo~

http://pre.aps.org/abstract/PRE/v83/i5/e056301
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmgP8fBfcJU (i watched it without the music first time, it's irritating i know)

really looking forward to interviewing that A*Star senior research scientist, Dr Keng-Hwee Chiam. Sounds beyond me. Lucky, I'm doing it with Syaheed, quite a genius in his own ways, who knew what IHPC was and exclaimed "Cool!" at the sound of mechanobiology.

does having many interests mean one is unfaithful?

having many interests doesn't mean you won't be faithful to your soulmate. here's why. I initially titled the post "it's the caffeine thing".

i have too many interests. uncountable. if i narrow it down, it's probably reading, and music. that's what i never get sick of. but ah, i don't like to read the same thing again and again, and neither do i stay in the 80s, or 90s, for the same ole' music forever. but wait a minute, I do like some music forever. In my early days when taiwanese boyband "5566" was in, i listened to all their music. i liked Sun Yanzi (Stephanie Sun), S.H.E, and JJ Lin Jun Jie. Perhaps they aren't cool now, but every time I hear them over the radio, my heart pounds, and I feel like I'm in another world. My later discoveries, Linkin Park, Avril Lavigne, and Lady Gaga, has been my favourites for god knows how many years. But I still like variation. And history has proven I can never quite find something better than them easily.

I claim I do reading as an obligation, but I do enjoy the process of reading, and getting to know stuff. I read anything from the shampoo bottle ingredients to nutritional fact labels to facebook updates to academic journals. And of course, news (but I get so bored sometimes because they seldom report things i'm interested in). My interests span from biology/chemistry to history. BUT, ask me, and I will tell you that George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four remains my favourite; Dan Brown, Alex Shearer and Roald Dahl have won my support through the years.

This post is inspired by coffee. I've been getting headaches very often through my holidays and I didn't know why. Today, I got the dreaded headache again. I thought it was migrane. I thought I was going to die.

Here's what: I realised I missed my coffee.

Now, it's strange, because coffee CAUSES headaches. I've never heard of coffee alleviating headaches. Ever. Whenever I get the dreaded headache, I avoid coffee. And I never get well. In fact, even after sleeping, it still bugs me. So here's faithfulness.

There are just some things in life we cannot live without. Some people, too. These people have become so normal in our lives, we only notice their absence, with a bugging headache. And sometimes, without luck, we wouldn't even know what's bugging us.

Spend more time with your loved ones. And yes, the person(s) is our caffeine. I started drinking since 17 and I haven't left it. I live on black coffee without sugar (bitter hell YES), but it keeps me going. The nastiest thing in life could be the antidote to greater pain in life. And once you start, it's so hard to quit, even if you quit it, you'll miss it.

Love is like caffeine. It keeps me going, it becomes less obvious with time as THE FACTOR that keeps me going. While some cannot get enough of it, some just need a minimum dosage (like myself). That doesn't mean it's unimportant.

Long Distance Relationship: A Brave New World

Check this youtube clip out if you've the time. I didn't feel very much for it. What fascinates me was:
1. He's from Singapore - Ah! We've a champion over here! :) In love too!
2. They were together for 2 years without having met - Respect to the guy (and the girl) for being faithful despite all that
3. THE COMMENTS - it's amazing; I never knew there were so many LDRs around!

As a person who have seen too much melodramas of life, I don't believe in LDRs. For a long time, not even in "happily ever after". And there's been a global problem, especially amongst first world countries:

People are spending less time with humans than with computers, this really could be the new norm. This threatens one of the longest traditions humans have - love. It's quite exciting to know that human behaviours are evolving with technology, even in this respect. Wasn't love supposed to be spending quality time, buying gifts, doing sweet things for each other, other than the obvious hand-holding? Human behaviors are evolving so quickly that children are typing faster and faster, processing stuff in their mind like computers, but ah, they're less able to interact with other children, especially in Singapore, for the lesser half of the society.

I do wonder if it's possible to father a child over Skype, assuming that nobody cheats. With the entering of credit card details, one can so easily buy gifts for the other party. My friend's friend in Australia bought my friend in India FLOWERS and got it delivered to her doorstep.

Perhaps one day, all our spouses would be online, since it's so much easier to live with someone when the person isn't around 24/7 to create situations with high tension or generate conflict. Perhaps life in reality is all work, from 3 years old when one gets into kindergarten to 23 years old when one is in university, and then work, and work, and work some more.

Perhaps the definition of family would be challenged, or redefined within the next 20 years. Maybe there would be creation of platforms where families can all come together in one single portal, like WhatsApp, and share their lives. Yeah, with the mobile phone, your family is just a call away.

Perhaps people could and would love more, with the rise of modern technology.

Perhaps cheating would be accepted in the near future - men cheating physically, women cheating emotionally, whatever. Perhaps computer skills and how one designs his/her facebook is more important than how one dresses up. Apparently, there are nice people desperately looking for "soul mates" and partners to date, but to no avail.

Whatever, I'm glad I found someone I really love, someone whom I wish (for now) to spend my life with.

Wahh! Millionaire! - Ministerial Pay cut

I posted on 18 Jan. Today (27 Jan), I decided to include a link over here, which talks about free press and corruption, and I'm even more uncertain of Singapore's political future.

I couldn't resist myself from blogging about this, so here I am. I am POLITICALLY AGNOSTIC - I see individuals rather than parties, for good reason.

Chen Show Mao's debate in ministerial pay cut was fantastic. I heard some really unintelligent debates on the ruling party's side, and was disappointed. Disappointed because it didn't produce as many political eagles as they had decades ago. Disappointed because I do think its contributions - or track record - in Singapore, was admirable. Let me sidetrack and come back. Ms Grace Fu is most admirable, and here's why.

My mother, unlike most privileged NUS students' parents, is a cleaner, at PAP Kindergarten (PCF). She's old, weary, and aching everywhere. She's working after 18 years of housewife-ship, because Singapore's increasingly expensive to live in. I'm studying in NUS. My father earns less than $1.5k. My brother is in Poly. And my little brother (yes, I've a big family), is only 12.

Cut the long story short. Grace Fu invited staff of PCF my mother to her house during Chinese New Year last year. My mother was ashamed to turn up, but she did anyway, and she was accepted amidst a myriad of political hotshots at Ms Grace Fu's home. That to me was impressive.

What's more impressive. My mother, as a staff of PCF, had the chance to travel to a nearby island for retreat with Ms Fu. In my mother's words, "I was sitting around with other aunties, chatting. Grace Fu walked up to us, carrying a big plate of food, and served us, telling us 'Eat! Eat'. I was so embarrassed, and so were my colleagues. Fancy an MP serving food to cleaners... But she did it very sincerely, with a broad smile and enthusiasm..."

My mother tells me Ms Fu speaks good mandarin. That's quite amazing, considering that many undergrads now, not to mention the very educated, do not.

Every year, Yuhua would host some Chinese New Year celebration the Sunday morning after Chinese New Year week. She would always be there, EARLY, to shake hands with every old folk who queues up for free mandarin oranges and lucky draw tickets. And she does it excitedly and warmly. I know it cuz I've been there many times.

I do not know if she helps the homeless, jobless, or hopeless in my constituency. I do know she is a good MP in many ways.

Let me now come back. Should ministers be paid that much? Firstly, why the debate now?
1. It will never happen again. Once everything is set in stone, life moves on, and citizens can never influence ministers' pay again.
2. Privileges can never be withdrawn. The pinch is very, very great. It's understood. Who in Singapore likes pay cuts? "Kee Chew!" (Raise your hand! A tribute to our dear MG)
2a. Those who are new feel it less, but given the plans they have, just like the plans we all humans have about our little bonus end of every year, it's still painful.

I'm not here to say whether it should be further cut, or not. I'm still confused in that sense, though Chen Show Mao made a great case. The premise of a politician:
1. It's not for the money
2. It's the willingness, coupled with ability, to serve.
[3. They represent the people.]

Point 3 means that if politicians are paid that much, they cannot empathise with citizens' financial woes. But most politicians don't empathise with citizens' woes in this manner. Not Obama, not Aroyo, not Lee Hsien Loong. Let's delve a bit deeper.

THE SOCIAL CONTRACT
According to the Social Contract (which arose from Hobbes and Locke, and evolved since the Enlightenment era with Rousseau), citizens give up a bit of their freedom for order and security, and if ever, prosperity as a nation. However, it's very difficult to measure order in Singapore - it's a culture to be ordered! We don't need politicians for that now. Security? Singapore's very safe. Social security? Hardly any [AND IT'S A BIG PROBLEM.] Prosperity? Yes to the top 10% of Singaporeans, no to the lower 50%. The income gap is widening, and the median income of Singapore $2.5k. GNP per capita is $52,000. That's a problem. Singaporeans don't feel rich enough to support high paying ministers. The prosperity of the nation's secure though, but that's another business for another day.

No one would admit they join politics for money. No one with brains would join politics for money, because one's life is suddenly scrutinised, and that means wearing a mask every second which also includes your children performing well in school, lest he/she gets questioned by the public. Strange, but true. The good thing (and actually bad thing) about Singapore is that THERE IS NO FREE PRESS. So that's not so bad, as compared to UK or US.

But Singaporeans, being Asians, hate being publicly scrutinised, because of our Confucian-influenced culture (or Chinese cultures). That's still a big sacrifice to make. Let me add that there are endless people enticed by fame and glory, but those aren't all good. Even the best fall from grace sometimes, as my study of British Prime Ministerial history has proven.

So I'll leave a few questions here:
1. To what extent is the pay necessary to attract talents who are headhunted into politics, people who are capable, but shun politics because they hate the entanglements that come with "serving the people" (eg being publicly scrutinized, having to answer to the nation, etc)?Those who are USELESS AND THERE FOR FAME or money and produce nothing amazing, GET OUT.
2. How good are all our ministers and members of parliament? - Scrap the GRC to find out, and keep only the VERY BEST in the Cabinet. No Mas Selamat, No SMRT vandalism... Security of the nation should not be compromised, and keep people who genuinely want to (and have the ability to) serve the nation. Those who are USELESS AND THERE FOR FAME or money and produce nothing amazing, GET OUT.
3. Confucian tradition - To what extent is our politicians capable and virtuous? In medieval China, those who are CAPABLE (passed the imperial exams) and VIRTUOUS were selected as officials. They were respected, and therefore unquestioned.
3a. It's a question of faith - Singaporeans feel that our politicians aren't as fantastic as to deserve being paid that much.
3b. Assumptions like that aren't baseless. Truth is, Singaporeans are feeling compromised in their lives. Gone were the days of 1980s when Singaporeans felt like they were in the best country in the entire world - safe, clean, green, efficient, wealthy, morally upright.

Virtue - If politicians are virtuous, they would not take public funds for themselves. If politicians are virtuous, they wouldn't even need to be paid that much. Very unfortunately, to err is human, and the mass media makes a mistake really big, and virtue really small. Money's the only compensation. How much? I don't really know. But if you did read closely, I wasn't questioning how much they should be paid. I was questioning whether they deserve to be paid as much as they currently are.

Grace Fu is a good minister. I would close an eye if she's paid very highly (sigh, but I'll still accept it). But not all ministers and MPs are that good. My friend's constituency has a really incapable MP who couldn't help her and her family and she has to stop school to earn money for the family.
REMEMBER, THE SOCIAL CONTRACT - If you make sure citizens are happy, citizens will close an eye as to how much politicians are paid.

My school cut my hair?

This post is dedicated to Mr Lee Hee Fock, teacher, Jurong Junior College (Singapore). He was a wonderful teacher in leading Civil Defence Club, and a quirky math teacher who taught math in lots of Chinese. He was also famous for "Ah, 你没剪头发!" (You didn't cut your hair!) We all know he was the Discipline Master of Jurong JC for a long, ... long... time.

Should schools cut students' hair? What are the implications?

Premise:

• Schools should warn students of hair checks a few days in advance to ensure they get their hair cut
• Students should be responsible to get their hair cut at their favourite barber
• If hair isn't cut, schools should ask student to call his/her parents, and pass the phone to the teacher to talk after the student is made to confess that he/she hasn't cut his/her hair and obeyed the school rules
• Schools should bring the student to the nearest barber to cut his/her hair - whether teachers should ask barber to cut it real short, the jury's out
  

No:

• Human rights will be observed.
• Singapore would slowly shift towards westernisation while abandoning its Confucian (respect your teachers') roots
• Management of discipline would become increasingly difficult, as this rule has been in place for a long time. Schools would have to look at all disciplinary rules and revamp the entire system again. Should students be punished for not doing their homework?
• There is also a sublimal question of whether the great divide between the lesser off and the better off would increase. Students like myself had learned discipline in schools, from teachers. And stuff that I had learned in school allowed me to rise in social ladder
• Scrapping the school rule would also acknowledge students' rights to a greater degree beyond what the Singapore society would wish to cope with. This would further increase teachers' woes of having to deal with students.
  

Special concessions to students who are parents' gems/babies?

• Should there be schools who market themselves as having students' welfare and interest at heart? If yes, is discipline part of having the students' future at heart?
• Should students be sent to international schools (SIngapore has plenty of them) just to avoid the hair-cut?
• Should schools allow long hair or coloured hair if parents write in to request for exceptions to be made?
• Has MOE done enough to assure parents that students are WELL taken care of?
  

More significant questions:

• Question on responsibility: Should a student, an adolescent, obey school rules, stop being mummy's boy and start understanding that life is full of rules and they are often unfair?
• Is progress always good? What about traditions which makes us who we are? If westernisation is the new norm, should we abandon the right to cut students' hair just to follow what is the new cool? When the new cool blows over, we forget who we were, and move on to the next new cool?

To students of the future: It's important to cut your hair because short hair is the acceptable norm of the society. Whether you venture into the arts industry is another matter. If you, as a student, gets an interview either for scholarship or job, turning up with a haircut not touching the collar or covering the eyebrows is crucial. The school is an institution. Colour your hair or keep it as long as you want (or even wear a wig, if you like) once you step out of the school compound, but when you're within its premise, obey its rules, or leave.

A lesson Singapore could learn

This morning as I read the news I realised that Singapore is now accused of being inefficient. Many Singaporeans experienced the MRT train breakdowns, including my father, who was once trapped for 5 minutes. Even he couldn't stand it - it was hot, smelly, and stuffy. And lately, Singtel has failed in its 3G services. What do we make of all these?

1. Singaporeans are intolerant of the unexpected
Even myself. Risk-averse. But that isn't a real problem unless people choose to live elsewhere, say India or China, and they would find it hard to cope. Otherwise, Singapore's probably fine, except that breakdowns aren't our thing. At all. This is in line with Geert Hofstede's cultural index experiment. Singapore, to him, was not very tolerant of the unexpected. Lowest in line.

2. We're afraid to make mistakes
Singapore is such a utopia of sorts that it feels like life is good and polished. Mistakes are grave and severely condemned. Again, it's a Singapore culture. People expect perfection from us, so we are very afraid of making mistakes. The implication of this is that most people take the "common route" through life, get a stable job, and live alright. Very cautious, very stifling for creativity sometimes. If you've lived in Singapore long enough to know what "kiasu" and "kiasi" means (scared to lose; scared to die), then you probably would understand.

3. Actually, on second thought, we rather people make mistakes and own up
That goes back to my first point. Singaporeans are generally risk-averse and we don't like the unexpected. If you make a mistake, and it's actually unexpected, we actually rather you tell us, than to keep us guessing. However, the second point of us being afraid to make mistakes suggests that if we own up, we have faulted, but if we haven't and we manage to fix the problem instantly, then nobody will be bothered.

People are unhappy with the SMRT breakdowns and Singtel 3G glitches primarily because in both instances, there weren't any notifications to tell patrons that they are experiencing problems.

Then again, considering a perfect Singapore world where escalators aren't expected to breakdown, that you could accidentally leave your bag at the table and it would still be there... Maybe we could understand why they didn't say anything, because the "smaller people" like you and I needed to keep their job. The "big guys" up there would not hesitate to fire anyone if glitches happen.

If something's wrong, it's your fault. It's never a chance factor, or fate, or Black Swan. That's what the government has taught us through its 50 years in power. And learn we did. That is also aggravated by lack of free press. The world looks very polished. Everyone except ourselves is enjoying life.

*laments* To my students in the future, it is perfectly alright to make mistakes. Mistakes are sometimes worth making when they are spurred by creativity. When they are not, there's always a second chance. You make your second chance, in Singapore. You choose to define what success is to you. It doesn't always have to be money, especially if it doesn't bring you prolonged happiness. But I'm afraid most of people up there never really did make any mistakes we can see. But it's alright. They have their troubles and we have ours.

Wishlist , 2011?

A post online is a potential folly. We learn from 2011 never to "Like" Kate Spade (Tin Pei Ling and her Kate Spade story), look tanned from having travelled when the entire country is freezing their bones off (in Britain, with respect to politicians), or in fact, like anything, online, especially if you're a politician. And be careful what you wish for. Libya got liberated, but it's quite unlikely they will progress to where they thought they were fighting for.

The year 2011 was very special because I came back with a fresh new perspective from India. I had the time of my life in NUS, having done modules which I love, and well, the grades aren't fantastic for MOE's standard, but we live on. 2011 was the first time I got called to a professor's office to be told I don't have to take life so hard upon my back. I don't need to carry people's burdens all the time.

2011 was significant because I lost my best friend. There's no way to get over it. If she were reading this, I would ask for another chance to atone for my sins face-to-face. But there isn't any chance to be given again.

2011 was the year I was first blacklisted on social media for writing a politically sensational issue. In fact, many. But the biggest was on the University Scholars Programme, and because I stood up for the lesser off people who had not $10,000 extra to spare to get into the scholars programme, I was slammed.

2011 was the year I thought I could get new best friends, but I can't. For many, friendship is about getting something in exchange for something else. Friendships without transactions don't last very long in university, from my own experience. They come and go like tides will never stay the same. And to my ex-bff who says that friends will be there for you always, truth is, they never are. No one will always, always be there for you. If you ever find a person like that, marry that person. He or she is probably god or god-sent.

2011 was the year I first moved into the campus. It was a roller coaster experience. From sneaking into B's room on weekends to staying with C because she knew I needed a place to study, to finally moving in and trying to avoid every single person in the block because I had earned some bad blood with them, was a mentally-challenging experience. But I live alright.
3.5 3.9 4.0 4.1

In 2011, I signed up as an intern for MOE, and I was chosen. I went teaching in a school near my house, and my, it was some kind of experience. I had a good time with my secondary two students whom I would never forget. The secondary threes are horrorful, to say the least. But I still was inspired by them because eventually I became their friends of sorts, when the most horrorful of all actually smiled at me and shook my hand after she won a costume contest. She's the type to scold strings of vulgarities without periods. And the other attention-seeking one told me his life story of how he got retained and his gang of bad influence left him behind. And because a million other reasons convinced me that the system had room for me... On a side note, in 2011 I've got the best students for tuition. They're from South Korea, and they show me a world so vast out there. I've learnt that Korean actually sounds like Chinese, how to make kimchi, how cosmetic surgery is a MUST in Korea. I just had to say this: In 2011, Kim Jong-Il died. And this: in 2011, the MRT in Singapore broke down and caused a big hooha in Singapore. In 2011, the General Elections of Singapore happened, and one GRC was lost to the opposition. In 2011, Lee Kuan Yew and Goh Chok Tong stepped down.

In 2011, I took on leadership role as a Youth Expedition Project Leader. I met a great bunch of really extraordinary people (from the good sense to the alien sense). I met the most extraordinary of leader, Mr Tan YH, who's all that I am not. So we were complementary in most sense. And for those who wonders whether there was any spark between him and I, NO, there wasn't. The first reason is obvious: he isn't my type, and neither am I his. The second reason is a better one: I found a more wonderful guy. In fact, to be honest, that's the most wonderful thing that happened to me in 2011.

It's been 9 full months of the same person. I've settled down, in that sense. He's most ordinary, and that's what makes him extraordinary. I don't know what I can say of him except that at this point in time, I feel that I've found THE person I could spend my life with. Honeymoon days never seem to end with him, sorrows never seem to last with him around. He was too cool and blur to have caught any of my hints. He asked if he could date me. I said yes to him because he wasn't nasty. I later found out he's better than my checklist. I chucked that sometime ago. I probably had the best times of my life in Singapore with him.