It puzzles me when people declare their relationship status on Facebook. It's all well for the declaration of love to the entire world, but if anything untoward happens in the relationship, the whole world would know too. I'm not here to discuss whether you should or should not do that. I'm discussing how Facebook has changed the psyche of love.
"I'm in a relationship with X."
Immediately, close friends would come to know a new friend. Speaking of which, should a person declare on Facebook first, or tell her best friends first?
"I'm single."
Alright. Is that a happy declaration, when people should say CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU GOT RID OF THAT JERK!!! :D or should people say I'm really sorry to hear about that... ?
"I'm engaged."
This is by far the worst I've seen (or so I suppose). My friend declared this and wrote a big blog post on it. I saw it in May. It was an April Fool's joke.
So here's another friend of mine who posted engagement photographs. It's really amazing how I suddenly feel, "gahh, here's social pressure mocking at those who had been dating a long time." Having said that, I can't imagine my man popping that question. All's wonderful in love, but marriage is a different thing, is it? At the very least, it's legal, and it's more often unhappy. Of course, there are a few who claim they have a loving marriage. These are far and few, and they don't come by because they found their soul mate. They work hard, I mean, very very hard, to stay together.
All's well if the purpose of that marriage is to make babies. Women seem to have this maternal instinct to care for little cuties in life. Perhaps I would very much prefer taking care of babies than living with someone permanently, especially since the backdoor of divorce is now open. In the past, marriage had to work.
All's well. Divorces are good if the man's a wife-beating drunkard gambler or lazy bum. Should people part because of personality clashes? Or mistakes made by either party, either in finances or fidelity? Of course, trust, once broken, is considered sold.
Speaking of babies. They are also the make or break elements in relationships. If the parents fall out, they suffer. And they aren't easy to care for, especially since offsprings HAVE TO BE smart, and if they're not, the parents are responsible.
How about "I'm married to X."
Some trivialise Facebook in that they can be married to different people every week, and whom they are married to are good friends. It is very often a lesbian-relationship because girls like to declare they are married, no matter to whom.
The transition from engaged to married isn't huge. It's a definite CONGRATULATIONS!!! and we're all expecting it. Then again, we really don't know if it's a congratulations, do we? Love is like a dream; marriage is the alarm clock.
No offense to those who are married. I might be there, someday, if a black-swan event occurs and the man pops the question. I, for heaven's sake, wouldn't know how to react, especially if I haven't made up my mind. It's all a leap of faith. God bless that one doesn't fall into the deep abyss. Divorces are painful. I can totally imagine it. The man whom you knew with all your heart, the most wonderful man on Earth, could do so much to hurt you. That's a horrid idea, and it self-destructs.
Now, Facebook does not censor publications of status. My best friend's ex-boyfriend is my friend's boyfriend now. It's all too much to bear. The worst thing's the wall. Anyone can write: I hate you. Cursed be your woman. @the woman: he cheats; beware.
And that finishes it all off.
