The Kettle and Vicks Vaporub

Mr Gurcharan Das was the trigger that made me write again. He mentioned in "Local Memoirs of a Global Manager" that an Indian lady in the local bazaar had actually taught him how to use Vaporub in this manner - put a spoon of it into the kettle, and inhale the vapour. Incredible!

Mr Gurcharan Das is former CEO of Proctor and Gamble. He has had many years of industrial experience worldwide, and eventually quit his job to become a writer. Initially I was skeptical when my professor recommended that book. Can a businessman write something moderate, something value-adding to academia? You'll be surprised. I was, at least.

"India Unbound" records a very fascinating perspective of India's progress since its independence from the viewpoint of not only of a businessman, but in many ways, an Indian local, a traveller, a semi-political figure (he's not a politician but he has lots of clout in India, at least, post-Independence). His habit of keeping a diary (I inferred) might have contributed to his colourful writing of how in the past, Indian judges ruled 10 out of 10 times in workers favour and not in businesses' favour and how things has changed. He also doesn't do it overboard and claim that India is the most amazing place to work in after liberalization in 1991, and went through the nitty-gritties that academics from outside might have otherwise missed, e.g. why Narasimha Rao lost the election despite being the person who brought so much good to India.

Another day I was chatting with an Indian friend, who warned me about the "perils of Delhi" after December 2013 protests over a lady who was gangraped on a public bus. I'm not sure whether things became worse, but I think the imaginations of India seem to be more "backward and looming-dark" rather than its possibilities.

I also spoke to lots of business directors during my recent trip to India, and they all agreed that India is full of possibilities, but also agreed that India is associated with everything backward (like Slumdog Millionaire) and dangerous (like the Delhi 2012 incident). I think it's more than that - it's just that international media prefer reporting on the sensational things vis-a-vis the glam and glorious contra-stereotypical India.

The kettle and vicks vaporub. 

Things to do in India (I)

I still think of that fascinating place as if it was yesterday.

1. Visit the Taj Mahal and Varanasi
The first one is pretty obvious - you don't really expect to see something so white and well-kept in India, unless you're in Chandigarh. Taj Mahal reminds us all of the splendour of India. During the Mughal Empire, Emperor Shah Jahan (Son of Jahangir, Grandson of Akbar) built it. They got the marble from Rajesthan and the jewels from the West Coast (Gujarat, I think). A pity most of the time it's packed with people, and its entry ticket is not cheap like the other attraction sites. But it's worth a go, to show people you have been there.

Expect touting. That's part of India. You could quote a ridiculous price if you are slightly interested in something they are offering. My friend once reduced the price by 10 times (from Rs 400 to Rs 40). Of course, usually 50% of the price is a good way to start bargaining, but if you're outside the Taj, you could go way less. Have fun bargaining!

"ye wala kitne ka?" (this thing how much [price]?)
"five hundred only, madam. very cheap. very good."
"kya bakuas! pachaas rupee ka to bas. thi-ke?" (what nonsense! 50 rupees the most. ok?)
"nahi madam! this very good quality! four hundred." (let you touch the thing. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH, or he might try to be funny and make you pay, or snatch your money, etc)

" nahi, bhaiya. nahi chahiye. jao, jao." (no, brother [this is a term used by all hindi speakers]. don't want. go, go." (walk away, please.)
"madam! wait! haah, do sau. thi-ke?" (2 hundred, ok?)
"nahi chahiye, jao. meh sirf pachaas rupee. thi-ke?"
"haah, madam! ek sau. last price. good quality. pachaas nahi yar." (100, last price. 50 cannot)
[at this point, take it if you want. too troublesome to bargain till 50 unless if you're really really free. or just leave. he'll chase after you. just ignore. and be adamant about it.]

There is this famous golden triangle - Jaipur (palace), Agra (taj), and Delhi (capital). If you like, do it with a tour (but be prepared for lots of weird touting, and taxis driving you to shops and asking you to buy their stuff cuz he gets a commission). I've never been to Jaipur, but I heard Jalsaimer is beautiful. That's where the desert is. For an Indian palace, I highly recommend Madhya Pradesh (Orcha) if you've the time. If not, Jaipur will do. Varanasi too.

Varanasi (or Benares) is a holy city which embodies a substantial Hindu atmosphere. It's dirty. You see cows everywhere, shitting. You see people chewing betel nut and spitting those red stuff all over. And men peeing by the roadside (ok they're a bit discreet, but they really do stand there, face the wall, and pee alongside others!) It's smokey, because of the incense and the cremation at the ghat. What to see? Go to the ghat. You'll see lots of people cremating there. PLEASE RESPECT THEM and not take photos; they're mourning. At 7pm, go to Dashwashemedha Ghat, and join the puja session (prayer along the Ganges River.) They'll all shout "Ganga-ma aati, jai!" (Prayer to Mother Ganges!)

Head down to the famous Pizza place at Vaatika Cafe. Memorable food and ambiance. Head over to Dolphin Cafe if you're really rich. Avoid Lassi (the yummy yoghurt drink). They make it with Ganges River water. But make exceptions if you find that very famous stall, heh. (and you can, like me, suffer bouts of diarrhoea happily after that.)

Paakora by the roadside is yummy! And relatively harmless, since the parasites and bacteria have all been fried. Stand by the roadside and eat with those Indian kids, teenagers and old men. Quite an experience.

Visit the famous Monkey/Hanuman Temple - New Vishanath Temple, aka Birla Temple. Look at the holy Sadhus there. 40 years, haven't moved out of the temple once. And they don't really need to eat.

Speaking of Sadhus. Walk down Ganges and you'll see a lots of people bathing. And sadhus who are high on marijuana, along the river.

Make it a point to wake up at 4 in the morning to take a boat ride down Ganges. It's beautiful, and memorable. The city wakes up, you see the dhobi (washermen) washing clothes and linen by the river, buffaloes and cows bathing alongside the many men and women. People travel thousands of miles just to come to this river to bathe. However, do not attempt to bathe in it, unless you're prepared to fall sick. It's one of the most polluted rivers in the world. It's a wonder it's still oxygenated, and has fishes in it. Someone told me it's Ganga-ma, of course. The river is a goddess/deity.

Sarnath is where the Tibetans are. Really, Varanasi has the best of Hinduism and Buddhism. Check out the Stupa - that's where a part of Buddha's remains is buried. The calmness of the place is unmistakable. Suddenly, you don't hear car horns, nor people shouting. Lots of devout Southeast Asian/Chinese Buddhists are there doing pilgrimage. Quite a site. There is also a famous temple where they feature the life of Buddha. It's a Mahayana Buddhist Temple.

Be careful of people in Varanasi. They are all out to cheat your money. If you understand that, and play along, then you're quite alright :)

2. Take the Indian train!
There's airconditioned and non-airconditioned. I've NEVER taken the AC version (because they cost so much more). It costs about SG$10/US$8 to take a train from Delhi to Varanasi on Non-AC Sleeper class. You've to be extremely vigilant about your passport, luggage, and try to make friends with ladies if you're a girl. If you're a guy, you're quite fine alone. Just be very alert.

I recommend the Sleeper class because it's 5 times cheaper. I get to see the poor people - the real "normal people from all walks of life" - on the Sleeper class. Many times I meet students, so I strike a chat with them (I calculated that the risk of getting into serious trouble is lowered when I make acquintances on the train.) There are people with "unconfirmed ticket" - they bought the ticket, but there isn't enough seat, so they have to stand the whole way. There is always this "chai (tea)" man, who goes: "chai, chai, chai, chai, chaaaiii..." even in the middle of the night, if you're unlucky, but if you laugh it off, it's quite funny actually. I often buy the "kaafiii, kafi. kaaafiiii, kafi (coffee)" It taste pretty bad (water, milk, sugar, where's the coffee?!?). But the fun lies in watching him pour the coffee. Ok, not fascinating. He stops by, does his trick, and gives you the coffee. 5 rupees. (SG$0.25) Occasionally, when it passes by other train stations, you can buy samosa/samoseh (not recommended for people who fall ill easily). There is also train food! The pantry man comes by your seat, takes order (vegetarian or chicken?) then he'll send you the food like 4 hours later or something. 35 rupees. (SG$1). Win! Occasionally you get to buy Lays potato chips. Oh the Masala flavour one is so yummy (SG$0.60)! And all is well. Scenery is beautiful outside the train. You get to open the window and have the wind blowing on your face. If the ticket inspector isn't looking, you may hang around the entrance of the train, and it feels like you're flying.

No climbing onto the roof of the train. We see that in Mumbai, on TV. Don't do that. But you may look at people doing that if there are any. I have never seen any.

NEVER DRINK ANY UNAUTHORIZED WATER. Fruit juice no ice. No pani puri (the chaat/snack with water in it, yumms!). No weird lassi by the street. No Rs.1 water by the roadside (not even if they squeeze you the lemon). Make exceptions at your own risk. I did, and had a hell lot of fun. Bottled water. CHECK THE SEAL. I kid you not. Sometimes they try to be funny and refill those empty bottles.

3. Visit the bazaars/central markets
Forget what those Indians told you - those splendid malls, whatever. Come to Singapore if you want malls. I kid you not, we've a stretch of award-winning road just for malls, and they are world-class. Head down to the bazaar and central markets. They are really fascinating to check out. From saris/salwars to pails to momos (dumplings by the roadside!), everything looks so chaotic, yet organized. You can have your shirt tailored. The tailor sits under the sun in the middle of the parade square with a pile of clothes next to him. He takes your measurement (I don't think he'll molest you), and asks you to collect a few days later. Be with someone, and be careful of your money lest you get pickpocketed (Neither I nor my friends never got that, so it's not that dangerous.) Get lost in there, then grab some KFC, momos, or what-have-you (Bhel Puri? :P a chaat/snack item that has onions, puffed rice and sauces in it.) Then catch the auto or rickshaw to wherever you want.

Delhi: Sarojini market and Chandni Chowk are real good everything-market. I personally love the Lajpat Nagar Central Market, and the Saturday Market around Lady Shri Ram College. Go to Khan market if you want some expatriate-standards. Or head to Dilli haat if you're cheating.

I've listed 3 things to do, but I've actually listed lots more, like bargaining, doing the really weird stuff.
To girls: refrain from going around after the sun sets. For every hour, your risk doubles - rape, rob or ransom. Unless you know the place well, of course.

How to make friends?

This post gives a quick overview of winning friends.

First, don't think you're very big. No one likes to talk to people high up there, real or imagined. That means, whether you are a boss or a highly-talented person doesn't matter. Everyone is on equal ground.
1. Be humble and approachable
2. Smile
3. Few golden words are better than spamming of words if you need to impress
4. Be interested. Look interested. The latter's as important as the former.
5. Ask questions:
- what are you doing?
- how was your name inspired (for interesting names)?
- what do you do at work?
- what do you think about __(current affairs)__ ?
- what do you do during your free time (more personal, to be asked when relationship transits from work to personal)?

Quote whatever perception you have had, "I've heard that ________. Is this true?" This will create a dialogue.
If the person asks a question, answer, but not in a long-winded manner. Brevity is an important skill.

Burma

"Hey girl! Come here!" My teacher signalled to me. "Are you from Myanmar?" He asked. That was in 2008 January. I was running a camp, running along the track rushing to somewhere.

Writing on Burma brings me lots of memories. As if I've been in Burma. As if I've always been living next to Burma. I've watched the Burmese Harp, a war film produced from the Japanese point of view of the Pacific War. I've heard the term, Shwae Daung. Is it Sanskrit? I don't know. I've even seen the script written in either Sanskrit or Tibetan. I live through those battles Burma had fought with Assam, Manipur and Nagaland. I've seen the Burmese monks clad in maroon robes. I've seen General Aung San fighting for independence, for the Anti-Fascist People's Freedom League (AFPFL).

I have, alas, studied at the school his daughter, Aung San Suu Kyi, studied in. Lady Shri Ram College.

I know of the Burmese Constitution in 1937 which finally separates Burma and India after a forced union by the British in 1885. They have always been apart. I know very well why Winston Churchill, the War Cabinet Prime Minister of Britain, produced that White Paper. I also know why Clement Attlee signed the pact with Aung San promising independence. The former's so aggressive and conservative, the latter reasonable and leftist. It feels like I've lived through World War II with Churchill putting up a front all day having to fight the Germans and win.

The Burmese temples. Have I seen them somewhere? Don't they look alike to the Hindu tower entrance, the circum-ambulation belt of each temple, the stones that last forever? The Burmese drinks tea, and make a big affair out of it. Of course, they are so near to Assam; they need to prove that their tea is better! The North Indians drink their tea in a small 60ml cup, the Southeast Asians drink tea in a very large mug 150ml. And the Burmese - just in between. A medium, 100ml. And I know how it tastes just by looking at it.

And I haven't forgotten the Karen, the Chin, Kachin, and Shan people. Neither have I forgotten the Arakanese.

The Peacock Throne seized in 1885 by the British rings a bell to me. I feel infuriated; why did they take away that blessed throne? Why did they trample through the Shwedagon Pagoda with their boots? Why did they disregard the monks? U Ottama fought peacefully for independence, got imprisoned, and continued fighting. YMBA fought too.

Yesterday, I picked up a book I couldn't believe. "Secret Histories: Finding George Orwell in a Burmese Tea Shop." George Orwell was their prophet. His three books - Burmese Days, Animal Farm, and Nineteen Eighty-Four - was scripted into reality in Burma. For a splitting second, I recounted him. Somehow, I want to go to where he had been. He was one of those fighting like we are fighting. His heart beats like one of us. He died immersed in love for Burma.

I'm there in my dreams, I forget I'm a visitor, dressing, talking, eating like them, worshiping in the temple like them. I remember passing by that Stupa. I remember eating the thukpa with them. I remember their faces so vividly. I've seen the women in the fields planting rice, the buffaloes ploughing, the children playing.

Free Burma. Free Nagaland. Free Tibet.