A global identity: paradoxical?

A year back, I led a city tour and asked an international student - "where are you from? *smiles*" She frowns back, "I hate it when people ask this question. I don't know; it's a long story." "Tell me?" SHe then went on about how both her parents are Indians (one from North, one from South) and worked in Bahrain. They met in Bahrain. Her mother became pregnant with her, and rushed back to India to ensure her daughter would get an Indian passport. When the child was a week old, they flew to Sri Lanka and stayed there till she was 9. They then migrated to Bahrain and stayed there till she was 17. She then flew to London for her further education, before coming on an exchange to Singapore.
I probed further, "But surely there was a place you felt closest to?"
She replied, "Yes, Bahrain. But I went to an international school in Bahrain, so I wasn't acquainted with Bahrain per se. But I identify with that place the most. It was where I grew up in."

There's nothing wrong with that. Or is there? Why was the term "third culture kid" invented?
I write today with the aim to tell third culture kids that there is really nothing wrong, and perhaps they were made to believe that there is something wrong with them because the world doesn't see a horizon as broad as theirs, and could never half comprehend their world.

Wiki "Blind men and the elephant." That is a story originating from India about how different people only see part of a picture. Perhaps like kids born in the same land as their parents, they cannot comprehend an elephant, and bring with them a small skewed picture of their perception of what a third-culture kid may feel like. And hence "Snobbish? Slack? Spoilt?" are words that "local kids" use to perceive TCK.

Singapore is a young nation and many of its citizens still hold skewed stereotypes of its fellow counterparts, in terms of races, religion, gender, age, dialect group, ... This may have been a Confucian tradition of hierarchy, core-periphery, and stereotypes. I sometimes struggle with trying not to stereotype and giving the benefit of doubt too. My parents' perception of other races and religions are unfortunately not as cordial and all-embracing, and I lived with them for the past two decades. It would have rubbed off somehow. This is not uncommon in Singapore too.

Sorry... We didn't know International Baccalaurate was difficult, even more difficult than A Levels in many respect. We only knew that we are constantly compared to "Raffles" and "Hwa Chong" and striving towards the Ox-bridge or Ivy League schools - and then be ashamed if we cannot speak Standard English, or study much harder, or speak up in class only to find that we speak nonsense. For those who are luckier, they may migrate there, get a passport there, marry a Caucasian/non-Singaporean Asian and settle down overseas. That was what many parents of JC kids aspired towards. All JC kids know is that "ethanol + ethanoic acid = ethyl ethanoate" and "glocalization (quote localization of McDonalds) is a phenomenon to suggest that globalization is not all culture-antagonizing". Many of us didn't really truly understand what we were memorizing. A science student like myself and many of my peers wouldn't know what's the link between USSR and Russia, nor Cold War in general. We used the term Cold War when our good friends don't talk to us after some dispute. God knows how it was related to USA, let alone democracy and communism. (I didn't have the luxury of taking History in Secondary School and read only Geography, so I probably knew land forms and tectonics better than my History counterparts).

Third culture kids, we have lots to learn from you, but we do have a lot on our mind as well. We don't know if you would leave us jobless like what our parents often complain about ("expats!"). We don't know if you understand day-to-day struggles like squeezing up an SBS bus or MRT. We don't know if you actually have tasted chicken rice, actually, or if you live on spaghetti and ratatouille on a daily basis (I learnt the latter dish only from the rat movie; how "educated" I am!). We sometimes don't understand what's with democracy (ok I identify with this quite a lot) and why should we fight for freedom and individual rights. We don't really know what our political system is about - but we know enough not to question it if we don't know anything. We know stuff. We know how molecules interact, how we can calculate the conservation of mass and energy, and recite the proton number of elements in periodic tables. We know how to "differentiate" and "integrate" functions, how to draw a logarithm graph and what are the causes, advantages and disadvantages of globalization and technology (we learnt that in General Paper). We don't really know where Bahrain or Sicily is (at least for myself and my peers when we were in JC).

We know "ang mohs" and kids of expats go to international school. They are expats and must therefore be rich. They are rich and therefore must be snobbish (because our parents told us how snobbish their bosses are!). They are "ang mohs" and therefore have school politics that are similar to Gossip Girls, Friends, and other American dramas and we think they eat McDonalds and potato everyday. Not that we don't. But we don't really know. Really.

There's nothing wrong with a global identity, I think. My friends feel more Korean than Singaporean after watching tons of Korean dramas. And most of us Uni students prefer Starbucks (if we can afford it). Some of my friends took French. I went to India. I think NUS has a mix of just everything, and you are a global citizen par excellence, something Singapore is striving towards.

is there hope for... me, humanity, the world?

many think that these two animals are bought by my boyfriend for me. contrariwise, they aren't. My little brother, being a reserved child, is deeply acquainted with the little Pooh bear in the picture. Big sister me spotted Big Pooh, and together with my boyfriend, we brought the Big Pooh back home to my little brother. He was flabbergasted. "Ahhhh!!!!" He couldn't stop grinning. It has since become his new best friend. The Big Pooh's his girlfriend, and the little Pooh his little boy. He's only 12.

Lab report. Screwed because my extremely brilliant partner spilled the DNA over to the other lane. He airbrushed it away on photoshop. We scored an A for the report. All I did was to check the grammar. *grins* [An 'A' grade in NUS is extremely hard to get by the way.] I got to keep this photograph, the DNA fingerprint in which I argued on and on, "I'm dead sure there's ethidium bromide in it!" There isn't. There's only agar, and it isn't edible.

A slice of rainbow cake, compliments of my hostel neighbour. Being the extremely shy/asocial new addition to the block, I was not invited to any celebrations of birthdays. Not that I really care, actually. I was studying hard for my exams. Then came a knock at the door, and a slice of cake. It did cheer me up from my lulls of work, and for a split second, the world didn't look as dystopic as education has made it out to be.

I love this photograph. It's badly taken, i know. I took it during a visit to a nursing home with my boyfriend. I saw that possibly 80 year old man feeding his wife food. They didn't speak much, but the love in his eyes surpassed any words that the universe could describe. There she was, in the nursing home. Rain or shine, he would be there to visit. Almost brought tears to my eyes.

Gender stereotypes, seen in these little ten-year-olds. "Boys eat more what!' They were buzzing away. Truth is, I thought so, when I was 10, but now that I'm so much older, I realised boys only eat much more after puberty, not at such a tender age. Their fascination with almost everything strikes me. Little Einstein, a boy in the crowd of 39, answered every single question like reading a Britannica with a twinkling in his eyes. Plump girl got scolded by teacher, and started crying and withdrawing from the crowd. "The girl in yellow", the teacher said, "watch out for her." I thought she was a monster. She wasn't. She was a little autistic, and could not relate well to her peers. It's most unfortunate that children are "marked for destiny" at such a tender age. And equally unfortunate is that they would grow to be who the society expects of them. At least, according to Psych, a lousy capability paired with high hopes makes a child a "high ability kid" as opposed to a normal capability paired with low hopes.

This is the most epic photo of my life's collection. Snapped in Singapore, this photograph is a lift that's shut down. The paper writes, "The management didn't treat us like humans... [the rest I couldn't read cus it's too cursive]... B**tard!" It might not be a big deal, but because it's Singapore and I literally walked up the stairs with other residents of the block, I was quite startled that such a protest was launched. In Singapore, workers always do as told. In Singapore, there hasn't been a strike for more than half a century. In Singapore, the government believes in efficiency and protection of labour welfare. Is there a slice of population that we have forgotten, or the workers are being overly demanding? But anyway, I smiled to myself that something extraordinary has happened right before my eyes.

Is there hope? Of course! Agency vs structure. The world's a bizarre, yet dazzling place.

does having many interests mean one is unfaithful?

having many interests doesn't mean you won't be faithful to your soulmate. here's why. I initially titled the post "it's the caffeine thing".

i have too many interests. uncountable. if i narrow it down, it's probably reading, and music. that's what i never get sick of. but ah, i don't like to read the same thing again and again, and neither do i stay in the 80s, or 90s, for the same ole' music forever. but wait a minute, I do like some music forever. In my early days when taiwanese boyband "5566" was in, i listened to all their music. i liked Sun Yanzi (Stephanie Sun), S.H.E, and JJ Lin Jun Jie. Perhaps they aren't cool now, but every time I hear them over the radio, my heart pounds, and I feel like I'm in another world. My later discoveries, Linkin Park, Avril Lavigne, and Lady Gaga, has been my favourites for god knows how many years. But I still like variation. And history has proven I can never quite find something better than them easily.

I claim I do reading as an obligation, but I do enjoy the process of reading, and getting to know stuff. I read anything from the shampoo bottle ingredients to nutritional fact labels to facebook updates to academic journals. And of course, news (but I get so bored sometimes because they seldom report things i'm interested in). My interests span from biology/chemistry to history. BUT, ask me, and I will tell you that George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four remains my favourite; Dan Brown, Alex Shearer and Roald Dahl have won my support through the years.

This post is inspired by coffee. I've been getting headaches very often through my holidays and I didn't know why. Today, I got the dreaded headache again. I thought it was migrane. I thought I was going to die.

Here's what: I realised I missed my coffee.

Now, it's strange, because coffee CAUSES headaches. I've never heard of coffee alleviating headaches. Ever. Whenever I get the dreaded headache, I avoid coffee. And I never get well. In fact, even after sleeping, it still bugs me. So here's faithfulness.

There are just some things in life we cannot live without. Some people, too. These people have become so normal in our lives, we only notice their absence, with a bugging headache. And sometimes, without luck, we wouldn't even know what's bugging us.

Spend more time with your loved ones. And yes, the person(s) is our caffeine. I started drinking since 17 and I haven't left it. I live on black coffee without sugar (bitter hell YES), but it keeps me going. The nastiest thing in life could be the antidote to greater pain in life. And once you start, it's so hard to quit, even if you quit it, you'll miss it.

Love is like caffeine. It keeps me going, it becomes less obvious with time as THE FACTOR that keeps me going. While some cannot get enough of it, some just need a minimum dosage (like myself). That doesn't mean it's unimportant.

A lesson Singapore could learn

This morning as I read the news I realised that Singapore is now accused of being inefficient. Many Singaporeans experienced the MRT train breakdowns, including my father, who was once trapped for 5 minutes. Even he couldn't stand it - it was hot, smelly, and stuffy. And lately, Singtel has failed in its 3G services. What do we make of all these?

1. Singaporeans are intolerant of the unexpected
Even myself. Risk-averse. But that isn't a real problem unless people choose to live elsewhere, say India or China, and they would find it hard to cope. Otherwise, Singapore's probably fine, except that breakdowns aren't our thing. At all. This is in line with Geert Hofstede's cultural index experiment. Singapore, to him, was not very tolerant of the unexpected. Lowest in line.

2. We're afraid to make mistakes
Singapore is such a utopia of sorts that it feels like life is good and polished. Mistakes are grave and severely condemned. Again, it's a Singapore culture. People expect perfection from us, so we are very afraid of making mistakes. The implication of this is that most people take the "common route" through life, get a stable job, and live alright. Very cautious, very stifling for creativity sometimes. If you've lived in Singapore long enough to know what "kiasu" and "kiasi" means (scared to lose; scared to die), then you probably would understand.

3. Actually, on second thought, we rather people make mistakes and own up
That goes back to my first point. Singaporeans are generally risk-averse and we don't like the unexpected. If you make a mistake, and it's actually unexpected, we actually rather you tell us, than to keep us guessing. However, the second point of us being afraid to make mistakes suggests that if we own up, we have faulted, but if we haven't and we manage to fix the problem instantly, then nobody will be bothered.

People are unhappy with the SMRT breakdowns and Singtel 3G glitches primarily because in both instances, there weren't any notifications to tell patrons that they are experiencing problems.

Then again, considering a perfect Singapore world where escalators aren't expected to breakdown, that you could accidentally leave your bag at the table and it would still be there... Maybe we could understand why they didn't say anything, because the "smaller people" like you and I needed to keep their job. The "big guys" up there would not hesitate to fire anyone if glitches happen.

If something's wrong, it's your fault. It's never a chance factor, or fate, or Black Swan. That's what the government has taught us through its 50 years in power. And learn we did. That is also aggravated by lack of free press. The world looks very polished. Everyone except ourselves is enjoying life.

*laments* To my students in the future, it is perfectly alright to make mistakes. Mistakes are sometimes worth making when they are spurred by creativity. When they are not, there's always a second chance. You make your second chance, in Singapore. You choose to define what success is to you. It doesn't always have to be money, especially if it doesn't bring you prolonged happiness. But I'm afraid most of people up there never really did make any mistakes we can see. But it's alright. They have their troubles and we have ours.

On tertiary educational facilities

I wanted to lift quotes, but was afraid I might misquote, so I've attached the entire article below. The writer talks about how the Institute of Technical Education has much better facilities than that of Junior Colleges. This issue is of concern because it insinuates that ITE students (and implicitly, less academically-inclined students) cannot appreciate good facilities; if the government doesn't give the better students in Singapore better facilities, the lesser off students shouldn't have it either. The writer is right on his facts, but a little knowledge is often a dangerous thing. This article is also of concern because the writer has adopted a very biased stance, with his viewpoint of an ex-JC student, and failed to consider opinions of the other side. This is also the reason why Humanities is important - it teaches one how to construct persuasive and therefore powerful arguments. What are my thoughts?

1. Renovation always strives for progress
Many years back, ITEs were in horrendous shape, because Singapore was more rightist (and meritocratic) back in those days. Junior Colleges were under renovation about a decade to two decades ago. The government cannot be renovating JCs all the time, and thus started to pay more attention to the forgotten sector of the society. Wasn't that what all we Singaporeans wanted, to "ensure no one gets left behind"? Even communism couldn't ensure no one gets left behind, let alone capitalism infused with Confucian teaching (work hard, work harder, study hard, respect the educated).

It depends on many factors too. Apparently Raffles Junior College and Hwa Chong Institution are beautiful in every way (common perception). Even Jurong Junior College (a mid-range neighbourhood junior college) has a synthetic field and fully air-conditioned classrooms. When VJC is finally renovated, it probably looks pretty spectacular as well. So yes. It's commonsense. You can't renovate JCs, nor ITEs, every year. It's their turn now.

2. It's Technical training, not academic training
Across the world, science and engineering schools are always better funded than humanities schools. They need labs, equipment, etc. Whatever you call it. That's partly the reason why most funding are necessary. It's actually understandable that JCs don't get so much funding, because they aren't that necessary. You don't need 10 computer labs, 10 commercial kitchens, operation theatrettes, etc.

Students who graduate from ITE actually find jobs, and while university students think that a crap degree doesn't bring us anywhere (it's a Singaporean mentality), there are sectors who need the support of ITE grads. This is the sector which has seen a huge influx of foreign labour, having more to offer and asking for less [pay]. Another thorny issue here. They need training as JC students do.
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A more significant point raised is that the facilities are vandalised. While I'm not so sure whether VJC/RJC/HCI ever got vandalised with enigmatic, philosophical quotes on tables or sticky notes around the school inspiring dissent or love, I know even NUS tables are vandalised. Vandalism is a crime that should be condemned everywhere, and the point that they vandalised and therefore they don't deserve the facilities doesn't seem valid. Students are students, be they from the top or bottom. While NUS students cringe at vandalism, ITE students also frown at vandalism. If vandalism equates to undeserving, schools should be built like mental hospitals (no offense, but these hospitals are vandalism-proof to a large extent).

I do wonder if there's a political statement to be made by the fact that ITE students are given pretty lavish facilities. The fact remains that ITE campuses are used to a greater extent, by the public too, when they attend courses to upgrade their skills, like Mr Tan whom I met, who went for N Levels English Course at the age of 55.

Let he who has no money to afford the best private tutors, enrichment courses, or the most nutritious foods, and yet made it to the top, cast the first stone. Money allows one to avoid getting into ITEs, to a large extent. Money allows you to get to where you really set your heart on very often. Let's be more gracious, yes, our educational facilities across the country is good. There isn't any leaking roof on a daily basis, or excessive flooding. Check this post by Yee Jen Jong, a socio-political blogger and educator.

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Disparity in tertiary education facilities

by Kwek Jian Qiang (a JC student)

04:45 AM Dec 26, 2011

Singapore has often been accorded the honour of having one of the best education systems. Our students rank high in their scores, from mathematics to other subjects. There are, though, significant disparities in the quality of learning environments.

When my grandmother visited Singapore this year, one of her most striking comments was when she saw a sparkling, shiny Institute of Technical Education (ITE) "skyscraper" campus.

Her first impression was that, in such a quality school environment, the students would be the best and brightest in Singapore. It took me a while to convince her otherwise and her look of dismay was apparent.

Indeed, a question should be raised: In a system where people are rewarded according to merit, why are our best and brightest not getting the best learning environments?

I once attended a seminar at ITE College East. The interior was like a plush hotel: Sleek floors, plush lecture theatre chairs, high-quality tables - quality exceeding that found in our polytechnics and junior colleges (JC).

From the exterior, with an Olympic-sized swimming pool and a stadium stand, it looked like it was made for the Youth Olympics.

What saddened me, though, was the graffiti on the tables and chairs. Apparently, the students do not cherish what they have. Should any JC or polytechnic student have access to such quality facilities, I have no doubt they would appreciate it better.

There is a need to equalise government spending on school facilities. Campuses such as Anderson JC's and Victoria JC's pale in comparison to ITE College East's.

Our brightest students, who will become Singapore's future leaders, should get the best facilities in order to excel and grow. We should reward according to merit.

his girl- a poem

I don't need your money
I only hope you'll care
I don't need the bling bling
But want you as my bear

You don't need to be brave always
Or protect me from the rain
It'll be nice if you had umbrella
Or walk with me in the rain

I don't need you to please me
Or impress me all the time
It'll be nice to sing to me
and have ice cream for a dime

I hope that you will stay very safe
Don't worry, cuz I am
I fly to the highest star and back
And we will have Honey and jam

I am frustrated now because I have
Nothing to work my brain
It'll be nice if you can give
something easy teasy for it again

I wish I could have more surprises
To see you fret and think
Because you look so cute when you
try get me something Pink

Although I know this place much more
It pleases me that you try
To bring me very far away
To get me to smile and cry

I don't have very much to give
But here is what I have
I have a brain, which moves very fast
And a soul for the world to share

I have a pair of hands to make
Artefacts for us to keep
A stack of unread papers so that
We can read them and fall asleep

I like a big mess of myself
To drip coffee around my desk
I know you hate it but hate to say
I'm a monster and a pesk

I'm sorry I've bee straightforward
Or blunt as they might call
I don't think much of errors made
So don't fret if you fall

I hate disrespect and excuses
Because I feel inadequate
On the one hand I feel really small
On the other I feel awkward

On some days I prefer books
And yes, please let me be
On some days I prefer girls
And I hope you let me be

On some days I love to fly
And stressful this may be
But to me, I love to move very fast
I hope you'll not blame me

I know your flaws as you know mine
So don't be fast and grumbly
I'd much rather you stay home
and take care of my Honey

I don't expect you to move with me
But I hope you won't tie me down
We can all be happy and slack
Wear a different kind of crown

I love you for who you are
So be that, don't be me
Cuz I won't slow down and be like you
That's not what love is

On common grounds we are the same
Quiet in front of others
But with each other we find solace
and yak like all our mothers

One thing I ask of you is that
You'll let me be who I am
For that I promise, I'll give you all
To love and to understand

Once again I say thank you
for being all I need
Please don't do more or people'd say
I've kept you for my greed

The workaholic has to go
To get brain stimulus
The counsellor will stop sneezing and
Stop stressing and make thy blur

bhaiya, mujhe tumseh pyar kathi hooh.

Moving on, and away, from Jason Neo: my thoughts

1. The government should speak up on this, and take this chance to educate the public as well as reassert the priorities of Singapore, the Singaporean identity, and why all these are important.

2. Jason Neo should be tried by law for making a seditious remark. In other countries, he would have been detained immediately. This will serve as a deterrence to the general public.

3. The issue should be followed up in schools, and schools could take this as an opportunity to educate morals. [read http://diluted-enigma.blogspot.com/2011/11/moral-education-incorporated-into.html ] There seem to be loopholes in the education system, in that not enough is done to make sure an educated person understands.

4. The media could be employed to remind/encourage people in Singapore (foreigners and locals alike) to live harmoniously with one another.

*****

I personally would refrain from condemning the Young PAP; it was hardly likely to have been prevented. Nonetheless, as a Singaporean girl who have spent my childhood playing football with my Malay neighbours, I'm very concerned. As a student of History who has by academic exercise gone through the history of Singapore, I'm very concerned. As a daughter whose parents went through racial riots, I'm very concerned. As a potential teacher who would potentially serve the MOE (I've a weekend to think if I should be bonded), I'm also very concerned. As a potential voter (I'm still disenfranchised because I'm deemed underage), I hope to see mitigation of the issue because it could potentially threaten the social fabric of Singapore.

To begin, one should refrain from associating terrorists with Malays/Muslims. Terrorists come in all shapes and sizes, from Ireland Republican Army to Tamil Tigers etc. Let's recall: there weren't any weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Islamic practices also differ from region to region, and Southeast Asian Islam, while it's multifarious, is generally considered by scholars as the most accommodating of other ethnic groups due to regional influences. The Bollywood movie I've written a paper on, My Name is Khan, is the perfect movie to understand more about issues on discrimination, labelling, and terrorism. Its famous line goes like this: My name is Khan, and I am not a terrorist (He's autistic, and kind, but always suspected and held up. Poor him.)

As a Chinese, I think it's only fair that something can be done to appease the Malay community. Looking into the case seriously (and that includes trying him) is minimal that the government can do. The remark has gone beyond the mildly racist and broke the ceiling of the extreme. They're children. They are going to school to be educated to be good people with upright moral values.

I also secretly hope that PAP can be redeemed (though I've no political allegiance) because I sincerely believe the ruling government isn't like this. When I saw a comment alongside this issue alluding to "Hard Truths", my heart sank. I saw this somewhere: "If it were the opposition making such a remark, he would have been dead." I haven't found a reason to reject that hypothesis. There's no way to prove it, but there's no way to disprove it unless something is done to publicly condemn the act. I honestly think this issue does waver the faith of the electorate.

While many have given feedback that there is no Singaporean identity, my proposition (as a historian by training) is that hard times bind Singaporeans together: WWII, economic crises, and SARS. This episode highlights and stresses what is important to us Singaporeans. Singapore prides itself for being multiracial. We ought to be that.

The Malaysian newspaper has written about this issue (I've just checked). The newspaper reminds me of a class I taught in a local secondary school, when I handed newspaper articles from different countries (SG and Msia; and photos from Dutch and Malaysian sources) to my Sec 2 students about Maria Hertogh riots. I remember telling my students, on Racial Harmony Day this year, the importance of understanding. I'm not saying it would degenerate into that, but that itself shows how sensitive this entire issue is - school children are still learning about it.

Singapore's identity and cohesion are shaken lately. I do hope we can tide this through together, especially those of us who holds a pink- and blue-IC.

Singapore is increasingly multi-ethnic. If we cannot even ensure local Chinese, Malays and Indians can live together, it would be extremely difficult to make sure we can live with - come on, let's face it - our PRC Chinese and Bangladeshi migrant population. It is an issue we are trying to sweep under the carpet. I think this issue deserves greater attention, and response, from the people "up there".